Stew wrote to me a week ago – Sunday, October 12 – on Ashley Madison.  I stared at his message for a long time, arguing with myself about whether to answer or not.  I didn’t want to jump back into meeting new men, but it was clear that Kris was not going to be around much longer, and this fellow looks really good!  I waited until Tuesday last week to reply.  

As it happens, Kris said a “final goodbye” yesterday that feels final this time, and I could tell him I had a meet set up, so he won’t worry about me, and do this meet with a clear conscience.

The waiter interrupts us to take our drink order.  [Note to waitstaff – if a couple is kissing and the place isn’t crowded, come back later!)  I order a cucumber strawberry lemonade; he gets a seltzer with lime. I admit I can’t drink liquor but I like fun drinks. He tastes my drink.  He continues the oral sex discussion, wonders what the equivalent term is for a blow job for what a man does to a woman… a lick job?  We smile and agree that even the term blow job is not correct… you don’t blow.  I tell him I do… it makes a great opening salvo to feel the air, my breath circling around him.  He rolls his eyes then stares into mine.  Desire.  I see it, clear as a summer’s day.