Category Archives: humor

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Royal Selfie (sorta)

July 6, 2017 Thursday

7:35 AM Sassy
Not real but fun anyway…Wills giving Grandma bunny ears and dig her corgi phone case. Ha!
From:
Hugh Casey’s Facebook page
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155562951207792&set=a.10151243123092792.510688.753072791&type=3&theater
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When Pigs Fly

February 28, 2017 Tuesday


11:40 pm Sassy
When Pigs Fly… I smile.
Sarah Boynton says: 
March 1st is PIG DAY! Here’s your free Random Pig Generator which will somehow make everything okay. (Code by famed Mozilla guy Christian Heilmann.)

http://thewebrocks.com/demos/pigs/

(Click here if you’d like sweet little cartoon pigs to fly across your screen)


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The Suck Fairy

February 3, 2017 Friday

The Suck Fairy.  Fascinating concept!  Click over to tor.com to read this short blog post about her.

I can see it applying to books, movies, restaurants and ex-lovers!  You loved them and then you look again and…

https://www.tor.com/2010/09/28/the-suck-fairy/

“The Suck Fairy comes in when you come back to a book that you liked when you read it before, and on re-reading—well, it sucks. You can say that you have changed, you can hit your forehead dramatically and ask yourself how you could possibly have missed the suckiness the first time—or you can say that the Suck Fairy has been through while the book was sitting on the shelf and inserted the suck. The longer the book has been on the shelf unread, the more time she’s had to get into it. The advantage of this is exactly the same as the advantage of thinking of one’s once-beloved ex as having been eaten by a zombie, who is now shambling around using the name and body of the former person. It lets one keep one’s original love clear of the later betrayals.”



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A Poem, Cartoon and Toy

January 25, 2017 Wednesday
From: TimmyTim
To: Sassy
Date: Wednesday, January 25, 2017 6:57 AM
Subject: It’s Hump Day!
Sassy,
Happy Hump day! After you wake up, then the week is practically behind you! I don’t celebrate hump day myself because I don’t have a hump partner!
Have a great, exciting day! Lots of exclamation marks because it goin’ to be that good!
One day closer to Friday! Can’t wait! Looking forward to hearing from you!
Hugs with humps for Hump Day!!
Take care,
Tim
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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From: TimmyTim
To: Sassy
Date: Wednesday, January 25, 2017 8:39 AM
Subject: Catullus
Sassy,
A poem for a lady.
da mi basia, deinde centum,
Deinde mille altera, dein secunda centum/ 
deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum.
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred/ 
then another thousand, then a second hundred/ 
then immediately a thousand then a hundred.
This stanza of a poem of Catullus made me think of you.
Take care,
Tim
(Never quote Latin with English spell check on)
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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From: Sassy
To: TimmyTim
Date: Wed Jan 25, 2017 at 2:20 PM
Re: It’s Hump Day!
Hiya Tim!  
You are made of awesome!  Thank for starting my day off with your wonderful words.  And I got completely verklempt over the Catullus!  Human sexual longing lends itself to poetry so well.  That and the sunshine got me rolling along in a good direction!  
I am just now getting to lunch… two meetings and endless emails today.  I have been thinking of you and trying to write and someone stops in, or someone emails… argh!  
Can you please remind me what your timing is for Friday?  I think we said meet at 1 pm but I can’t recall if you said when you have to leave.  A friend nearby may meet me afterwards if the timing works.  She is flexible but if I can give her some idea, it would be helpful.  
Argh… my phone is ringing again… must dash.  But know that I am with you, seriously considering what it would be like to be your hump partner and so so eager for Friday!  Mwah!  
-S
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From: TimmyTim
To: Sassy
Date: Wednesday, January 25, 2017 2:57 PM
Subject: Re: It’s Hump Day!
Sassy,
Any email from you makes my heart beat faster! I know you have a very different day, so do not worry. Know they are precious to me! I’ll be working tonight, so I probably will not write back until you are safely tucked into bed! But feel free to send me one!
I thought 1:00 PM was the appointed time. Just one question, but do not take it as a negative, is your friend a level of security? Will she be there the whole time? I am in no way questioning the meeting, just like to know to see what is up and be mentally prepared. We can chat about it tomorrow at 6:00. But again, do not read too deep into my question, just curious. I don’t know the end time, it’s either like 4:00 to get home (usually go out for drinks after work on Friday) or I say I’m held up at work, which would let me be with you until 9:00. No pressure, just options and if our chat was any sort of a time marker, not sure that would be enough time to even just talk! I will be on my best behavior and have no expectations, except that we are good friends. I do not want you to feel nervous, threatened, or uncomfortable. So just let me know where your mind is. 
So much I want to say, but I’ll save it for Friday or tomorrow’s chat.
Please know, friends first!
Hugs with appropriate groping and I hope I can read one more missive from my favorite pen pal! I just want to make this work. (And not call you a pen pal).
Take care,
Tim
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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From: Sassy
To: TimmyTim
Date: Wed Jan 25, 2017 at 8:28 PM
Re: It’s Hump Day!
Hiya Tom! 
Isn’t it lovely to have someone to write to?  And get emails back?!  I hope your work is going along well.  
Today was brutal at work, but it’s over.  I am home, have eaten and am so glad I have something else to think about and can “be with you” in email.  
Hooray for 1 pm Friday!  Looks like the weather will be good!  I am so psyched!  Can you make it be that time soon?!  
Sorry to put strange scenarios into your head.  Now I’m wondering if you’ve had meets with wacky women!  Hope not!  My friend is not going to be around! And I don’t have to see her if we decide to keep talking or whatever.  I warned her that might happen.  She doesn’t know the details of who I am seeing for what, just told her I was going to be out there. I don’t want any time pressure on us!  
My mind is quite calm about meeting you. We’ve set it up in a reassuring way.  I’m focused on the possibilities for good stuff – chai latte, conversation, looking into your eyes, laughing, touching. I’ve tucked my “likes and dislikes” list into my wallet.  I’m going to go lie down with a toy and think of you and Friday!  
Mwah!  
-S
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From: TimmyTim
To: Sassy
Datet: Wednesday, January 25, 2017 8:59 PM
Subject: Re: It’s Hump Day!
Sassy, 
So glad I checked my emails between stacks of work! 
No, it was my mis-reading of your email coupled with that story of that abusive man! I guess I was being protective and was misplacing some of my worries about the bad meetings. I just want to have a fun, relaxing time with you and whatever that may entail! I am strangely calm about our getting together. In some ways I feel we are like two old friends getting together to talk about our lives since we last met. I know it sounds crazy, but you drive me (good) crazy!
I have thought of a good outfit to wear to work Friday so you will know it’s me when you enter Starbucks. But I want to keep you in suspense until we chat tomorrow night. Have you thought about what you are wearing? An old tee-shirt with cotton panties? 😜
Now John Henry has a question for you – what toy have you chosen for tonight? 
Well enough procrastinating for the time being! Hope you can write back tonight and I will check my phone periodically. I look forward to our chat tomorrow.
Keep calm and get a good night sleep!
Take care,
Tim
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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From: Sassy
To: TimmyTim
Date: Wed Jan 25, 2017 at 9:32 PM
Subject: Grammar Groping
Hiya T! 
A lot of my pals on my FB feed are moaning about having to work tonight, so you are in good company.   
I know what you mean about this meet.  I feel like I already have a lot of pieces of the Tim puzzle, just need to pop in a few more to see the big picture!  I am going to wear my “Sassy-go-to-meeting” outfit.  
Here’s a photo of tonight’s toy, which I didn’t get to use yet – the Gigi 2.  Hubby came home early.  But I may get to sneak off later.  


Here’s a little grammar humor.  
-S
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From: TimmyTIm
To: Sassy
Date: Wed Jan 25, 2017 at 9:55 PM
RE: Grammar Groping
Sassy,
Quick reply: loved the grammar joke! Maybe Friday, I can preposition you a bit, especially the under, over, next to and on top!
Hope you can get away and use that toy of yours, looks like fun! Someday you will have to show me how it works, never used a Gigi 2 on a partner. Not sure when that happens on the syllabus! But I must warn you, I am a fast learner!
Will Friday ever come?
Hugs with a big smile!
Take care,
Tim

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Helvetica; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 17.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} span.Apple-tab-span {white-space:pre}

Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone


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The Curse is over

November 3, 2016 Thursday

10:31AM Sassy
Good morning! 
Did you stay up all the way to the end of the baseball game? 
 I gave up at midnight but it turned out like I wanted.

10:38AM Sassy
Congrats CUBS! I remember 2004 in Boston and smile with Chicago this morning. This cartoon sums up the feels…


2:31PM Phil
Oh I did, loved it!