150K

Time to celebrate!  I’m doing the Sassy Dance again!  Shimmy and stomp with me!  Woot!
I can’t tell anyone in my real life, so I hope you will celebrate with me now!

My humble blog reached a major milestone today.  It blows my mind.  Sometime this afternoon while I was at the office, someone clicked on my blog for 150,000th time!  Wowie zowie!   Was that you?  Thank you!

Here’s a fun graph from Blogger that shows my blog’s hits by month from December 2011 to now.  Nothing like a great graph!   Hard to believe it’s been almost three years since I discovered Riff Dawg’s sexy blog!  I spent the entire Thanksgiving weekend reading it and realizing I had to start sharing the story of my sex life with the entire internet!


Thank you to each and every one of you who have clicked!  And read and commented and emailed!  It is so wonderful to be part of this community, our sexy little corner of the internet.  Huge thanks to the top seven blogs that refer people to my blog: 
I so appreciate you celebrating my great days with me, sticking with me when life was not so great, and coming back to find out what wacky adventure I get up to next!  Stay tuned for more Sassy shenanigans!

Sassy Answers: Changing words

Dear Readers,

A lot of you have a story to tell and write to ask me questions about what it takes to write a blog.   It’s a lot of work, but for many of us, writing is not an option.  I have to write.  I started a diary when I was twelve, and have been writing about my life and loves in various formats ever since!  Sharing it with THE ENTIRE INTERNET can be time-consuming and scary, but the rewards are wonderful.  I get to interact with other bloggers and readers!!  The questions can be quite specific, like this one:

Q.  In order to stay anonymous, do you replace words and edit out details when writing posts for your blog?

A.  Yes!

Everyone thinks of having to change names… but there’s more.  Names, locations, work details – here’s the list of nearly two dozen keywords for entries about my old flame that have to be changed for a start, and I catch others as I transfer them into posts.  Thank goodness for “find and replace” feature in my word processing program!

Actual                                 Gets replaced with

Philip’s real first name             Philip
Philip’s real nickname              Phil
My real first name                   Sassy
Phillip’s nickname for me         Sass
Another pet name for me         Sass
Philip’s wife’s first name           His wife or My wife
My husband’s first name           Hubby
My last name                           blank
Philip’s last name                     blank
Philip’s favorite football team    My team, his team      
Military buzz words                  military (or non-branch specific or edited)
Names/ranks of his bosses         Bigwigs
My employer’s name                 removed
My project                               edit
His branch of the military          edit
His children’s names                 edit or remove entire reference
His other family members         edit or remove entire reference
My other family members         Sis, niece or whatever
His other ladies’ names             Beach Gal or Fred
Our hometown name                our hometown
Where I live                             remove details to generic Boston
Where he lives                         fix it to something else like my area etc. 
Details of his work                    delete
Details of my work                    edit or delete 
My adventures with the AM men bring on a whole other list of changes!  It’s fun to come up with nicknames and re-spin their stories so even they would not recognize themselves!  
I try to keep the flow of the sentence but you can probably tell most of the time when I am changing and editing.  It makes me sad to take out some stories, especially about his great work for this country, or my cool projects, but they aren’t what this story is about.  And I want you to be able to fill in your details, make this about your people, so too many specifics don’t help with that.  Some diligence to cover my details makes it easy to share the sexy stuff!  
-Sassy

100K

Time to celebrate!  I’m doing the Sassy Dance!  Shimmy and stomp with me!  Woot!

My humble blog reached a major milestone today.  Sometime around 3 pm, when I was at work and not paying attention, someone clicked on my blog for 100,000nth time!  Wowie zowie!   Was that you?  Thank you!

Thank you to each and every one of you who have clicked!  And read and commented and emailed!  It is so wonderful to be part of this community, our sexy little corner of the internet.  I so appreciate you celebrating my great days with me, sticking with me when life was not so great, and coming back to find out what wacky adventure I get up to next!  Stay tuned for more Sassy shenanigans!

AM men so far

January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

I am feeling a little better this morning – regrouping, taking stock of where I am and trying to figure out where I am going.  I feel done with Ashley Madison but don’t see a clear alternative.  Here’s a quick summary of my contacts since I joined AM in mid-September:

  • 10 men contacted me that I replied to 
  • 6 Met 
  • 3 Had sex with (2 good, one bad)
  • 8 Gone
  • 2 Still talking (Mr Truck and Panties Man)

Month            Met       Status Comments

September

   #1                   No        Gone    Guilt king, stood me up

   The Lawyer     Once     Gone     Regular guy, so sweet, too busy to cheat

   Dancing Man    Once     Gone     Regular guy, One and done without a word

   Panties Man     Once     Active   Kinky, sweet, too busy to cheat

   The Professor   Once     Gone     Vanilla, erudite, lunch and silence

October

   Mr Truck          No       Active     Email king, porn king, kinky

November 

   Speedy             Once     Gone      Selfish, shorter, thinner, one and done

   Period Man       No         Gone      Too many periods!

December

   SmoothGuy       No        Gone     Nice guy, said he won’t cheat

   Volt                Once     Gone     Great guy, generous, guilty

Second Blogiversary!!

Dear Readers,  
Same Sassy Girl is passing a major milestone today – two years of blogging.  Wow!  Let’s celebrate!  Have a cupcake!  I got one for you!   
How can this integral part of my life be only two years old?!  If you haven’t read about my humble beginning, please hit “The Start” above and see how I reconnected with my old flame and started on the road to Sassy-ness!  

I had no idea when I started this blog experiment I’d reveal all this crap strange and wonderful stuff.  Or that I’d still be doing it two years later.  I still look at every post and think… “can I do this?” I am half-excited and half-terrified every time I hit “Publish,” but telling my story seems worth it – remembering, recording, trying to make sense of it and sharing it.  I work so hard to entertain Philip and keep the connection open.  Now I want to do the same with you!

I was very worried that changing my blog in September to talk about my online dating adventures would alienate my readers.  But my hits have doubled and I’ve had great comments, so I’ll keep posting for a little while longer.

I am astonished I have kept the blog a secret. It is strange not to share what I consider a major accomplishment with my real life friends and family, and to share so many feelings with you and none of the usual facts!   There are many of you I trust, but it’s simpler to stay anonymous.

This blog led me to so many other fabulous blogs!  Be sure to check out my blog roll on the right.  I’ve learned so much about life, love, great sex, and myself.  I’ve connected with so many wonderful bloggers and other readers.  I hope you’ll join with me in hoping we all keep sharing for a long time!

  • Five-six members. 
  • Over 80,000 hits.  
  • Over 1,100 posts.  
  • Even a Liebster award!  
  • Whee!

I’m still writing!  Wow!!  And you are still reading!  Wow!!!  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Special thanks to Advizor54 from “Free Advice is worth what you pay for it” for running the weekly Flash Fiction Friday” meme that keeps challenging me and connecting me so many great writers and readers.

As the handsome and talented Ryan Beaumont of “The Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad” put it so beautifully in his two-year blogiversary post, I’d better get back out there and live my life so I have more to write about!

Hugs with groping!

-Sassy

ONE THOUSAND

Tomorrow morning I am going to publish my 1000th post!  Let’s raise a mug of clam chowder and eat some lobster!

When I started on December 3, 2011, I thought I’d last about a month.  I was going to write about meeting Philip and stop.  Tell the story of the most amazing moment of my life, then go back into hiding.  People started commenting.  I started reading their work and learning so much and my story continued… I still don’t know how it will turn out, so I have more to say and… here we are!

There are days I want to stop posting.  Then my life takes a new turn, or I get an email or a comment or read another great blog post I have to share and… I keep going.  And I adore it!

Good golly I post a lot!  Words.  Images.  Videos.  Short posts.  Long posts.  Music videos.  Food photos.  Chats.  Erotica. Cartoons.  Poems.  Mostly happy.  Some sad.  Ordinary days.  Extraordinary moments.  FFFing.  About men.  About sex.  Mostly about me.

Let me toss out some other numbers:

Hits

Total so far 80,272
Weekly total last week 1,103
Monthly total – August 2013 – 3,790
Best month 2013 – May – 4,343
Best month 2012 – June – 3,646
Best day ever 1/11/13 440

Members
56

Comments
656

You still reading?  Priceless!!!!

Huge thanks and hugs with groping to you!

-Sassy

Ryan's Duets: Women Really Do Like Sex

Dear Readers!

Today I have a special treat for you – a duet!  Two bloggers in one post.  Kinky, hunh?!  The fabulous and talented sexy blogger Ryan Beaumont of “The Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad” invited me (yes me!) to write a post together!  Well… not exactly together but one right after the other!  So you get twice as much sexy, silly, strange and super-duper intense thoughts today! I get to go first!  
No Sex
Okay… I was one of those women who didn’t like sex.  It was something men did to me and I endured.  I liked making them happy.  I liked romance and kisses but the rest?  Eh.  What was the big deal?  My husband decided years ago that he wasn’t into me, so I decided that part of my life was over.  I didn’t miss it.  I turned it all off.  
Sex!
Then all that changed.  Philip turned me back on again!  And wow, did he ever turn me on!  I thought it was all talk… I knew he’d never touch a curvy old married lady.  What a surprise I got!  He touched me and took care of me first!  Wow!  The bigger surprise was that I liked it!  Craved it!  Wanted more!  
What sex? 
When he asked me what I wanted in bed, my answer was, “I don’t know.”  Imagine that – a man asking me what I want!  He helped me figure it out.  Now I can go for paragraphs!  For those who don’t have all day, it distills down to “Men.  And Sex.”  Whee!  
Words!
As part of my sexual resurrection, and in writing here, I realized how much language makes for great sex.  I know,  Silent Sams can still be super-sexy but, especially in long distance relationships, talking and writing about sex is a major component, and the words you use for body parts are a crucial part.  Read my sexy chats with Philip – we get going on body parts!  We even use the seven words you can’t say on TV (bless you George Carlin).  I am demure in real life, so you know Sassy is in action when you start hearing those!  
Listen!
When you are getting to know someone online – flirting, exploring the possibilities for more – the words you choose make a huge difference!  Pay attention to the words they use – discuss what inspires you, and what makes you cringe!  Here are some of my likes/dislikes on the language front: 
a.  Slut etc
I am a good girl.  I do the right things.  I am nice to people.  And I think sex is a healthy, positive thing.  So the whole “slut, whore, bitch, dirty, naughty” vocabulary makes me feel like you don’t know me and I want to argue with you.  I know there’s a movement to reclaim those words and use them in an adoring way, but I am not there.  I suffered terribly in high school with the undeserved “slut” tag and haven’t been able to joke about it.  It feels like a vicious slap.  I get that some men see it as a compliment… but not for me.  I made a little progress when a blogger told me I could be “his slut” rather than “a slut” but it still raised my hackles.  
b. Baby
I hear this word a lot.  I know it is an endearment.  But I don’t like it.  I am NOT a baby.  I am a big wild full grown WOMAN.  I didn’t like “girl” either until Philip starting using it… but he is talking about the girl that I was… harkening back to the golden days we spent holding hands and kissing in high school.  So this points up the importance of taking a breath and changing your mind sometimes, depending on the context. 
My mother was very proper, so vulgarity is also tough.  But I have learned to appreciate and use George Carlin’s seven words, especially fuck.  🙂  Shit, tits… I don’t use them much, but they don’t jar. I prefer chest, breast… If you hear them, you know something special is going on!  And when Sassy gets going, it is amazing the sentences that fly from her mouth, as you’ve seen in our chats.  I even typed cunt a couple of times!  Used as a body part and not an insult, it can produce very hot results. 
d. Body parts
Medical words are no good for me… clinical yuck.  Penis, vagina. labia, rectum…oh, just stop. 
I’m fine with cock, dick, ass, tits, breast, chest, clit, belly, tummy… and I try to pay attention to what the guy uses and adopt it.  And gauge his mood by what words he is using.  I try to vary it in my writing.  I read a lot of romance novels years ago and try not to use their language!  Bulging manhood.  Heh.
I am still looking for a good word for the “back door?”  “Rim?”  Ass hole springs to mind but has too much baggage.  Any ideas?
And finally.. I need a new word for what most men call pussy.  I learned to read that one and not giggle, but it’s tough.  I looked at a website that had like… 2000 synonyms and didn’t see one I liked. I can’t believe I don’t have a word for such an important body part… probably says something about our culture that is too deep for me to grasp.  So my writing avoids it.  “Inside me…?”  My kingdom for a good word!  Any suggestions? 
P.S. I love the phrase “balls deep.”  Oh yeah.  Got that from another blogger and I am keeping it!  Any particular phrase that makes you hot every time you read it? 
Of course, now that I’ve written all that, I want to STOP TALKING and have sex!  Arrrrgh!  
On that note, I will turn you over to the goofmeister himself, the man who a living illustration of the art of sprezzatura, has the most eclectic musical tastes this side of the Atlantic Ocean – the sports aficionado, the fabulously handsome sexy and wordy, hits and comment whore himself…. Mr. Ryan Beaumont!

Ryan’s Take:
Oh Sassy, you’ve crossed a line with me! “Sprezzatura?” Really? You know at first I was so sure you calling me something like a little weenie in Greek or some other dead language I slept through in high school. And so I had to google (I hate when a girl makes me have to google myself). OK, so I guess it’s OK. And of course you are A-OK! But then I realized you kind of did my theme for me which is good because I’ve always believe “why do it yourself when you can get a woman to do it for you!” 🙂

Sprezzarura  “a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it” (that’s googled of course).
Seems like this whole concept of confidence and getting the words right might have something to it. I wonder?
So through most of my life with Shannon sex was a reward for good behavior. Nice dinner = sex. Trip to the beach = sex. Bad mood = No sex. And Shannon always held a grudge so make up sex was something that happened after Ryan did something to make up from his screw up.

Then as I said above I met Alecia. She actually had the audacity to ask me to kiss and then said provocatively that“we’re going to have sex.” Wow, now that is a lady. Unfortunately it didn’t last.
But then I met Sandra and I delighted in being her “boy toy.” Now that lady surely did like sex; no strings AT ALL! It seemed effortless with her. I just showed up, smiled, listed to her complain about her hapless overweight husband and then boingo! I got laid. She delighted in the fact that I wanted her to feel good when I fingered her and rubbed her clit and massaged her inside and up and down that pubic bone. She giggled when I insisted we play in the shower after sex, knowing it would lead to a second time in front of the mirror and she would get a good view of me behind her.
And during all this time I was reading these blogs by women like Kat and Naughty Kitty about women who just LOVED sex. It seemed all a guy needed to do was find them and win the sex jackpot!

But then sometimes I’d read one of Kat’s posts and she would talk about yucky stuff like needed to feel a connection and that she needed to feel respected and listened to. Now my head was spinning! Hey Kat, yesterday you were talking about hooking up with “Young hottie” and now I have to get on the same mental wave length. I just wanted to get into the quick sex line, I didn’t realize I had to think as well.

But still those ladies wrote about just needing “a good *ucking” or really enjoying the taste of cock.

What did this mean. Were we back to being a code talker?

Can’t they just blow us first 
and then talk?

And then it hit me one day. These women, in fact most women, do in fact like sex. No actually they love it. Hell, if they could they’d get nailed everyday from about every angle possible. But the catch was, WITH THE RIGHT GUY (doing it the right way). So was that a big catch? Not really. You see in this world unless you enjoy going the Lesbo route us guys are the only game in town. When you look at it that way these women are really at our mercy. It’s like pulling off at one of those exits between Staunton and Lexington on I-81; no good options. That is unless you are like me and enjoy a good greasy spoon sometimes and don’t mind the subtle smell of armpit.

So here is the secret guys, listen up. Women do like sex. The funny thing is they are really rooting for us. Take Kat for instance. How many times has she written about her husband being a complete imbecile when it comes to reading her emotions (sorry Kat, I know he really is a good guy). And yet she keeps coming back. Why? She’s rooting for him.
You see back in the day when I was Sandra’s “boy toy,” those minutes I listened to her yackety yacking about her dogs, her hair appointment, her husband forgeting to change the oil in the car, her rascal of a son-in-law, what I was doing unknowingly was connecting. The bottle of wine that I picked up for $15 said I took the time to think about her
.
So I’ve come full circle. Women are a code to be unlocked. But the thing is they are not like a 15 digit Krypton safe. Really, the code is in most cases pretty easy and probably fairly cheap. It’s the few minutes you spend hearing that she likes Italian and then confidently telling her you really have been wanting to show her this Italian restaurant that you adore. Your eagerness, confidence, and caring, that delicate mixture of beta with the subtle shift to confident alpha will crack the code every time.

It gets back to that sprezzarurafication Sassy was talking about (at least I think). Make the art of discovering her easy, carefree, and as effortless as breathing and she’ll jump yer bones like it’s goin’ out ‘O style! Because in the end she likes sex and she’s routing for YOU! So go out there and don’t waste her time “Show” her!

Julie Andrews singing “Show Me” from “My Fair Lady”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8KC7a4K3cI

Ryan’s Duets: Women Really Do Like Sex

Dear Readers!

Today I have a special treat for you – a duet!  Two bloggers in one post.  Kinky, hunh?!  The fabulous and talented sexy blogger Ryan Beaumont of “The Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad” invited me (yes me!) to write a post together!  Well… not exactly together but one right after the other!  So you get twice as much sexy, silly, strange and super-duper intense thoughts today! I get to go first!  
No Sex
Okay… I was one of those women who didn’t like sex.  It was something men did to me and I endured.  I liked making them happy.  I liked romance and kisses but the rest?  Eh.  What was the big deal?  My husband decided years ago that he wasn’t into me, so I decided that part of my life was over.  I didn’t miss it.  I turned it all off.  
Sex!
Then all that changed.  Philip turned me back on again!  And wow, did he ever turn me on!  I thought it was all talk… I knew he’d never touch a curvy old married lady.  What a surprise I got!  He touched me and took care of me first!  Wow!  The bigger surprise was that I liked it!  Craved it!  Wanted more!  
What sex? 
When he asked me what I wanted in bed, my answer was, “I don’t know.”  Imagine that – a man asking me what I want!  He helped me figure it out.  Now I can go for paragraphs!  For those who don’t have all day, it distills down to “Men.  And Sex.”  Whee!  
Words!
As part of my sexual resurrection, and in writing here, I realized how much language makes for great sex.  I know,  Silent Sams can still be super-sexy but, especially in long distance relationships, talking and writing about sex is a major component, and the words you use for body parts are a crucial part.  Read my sexy chats with Philip – we get going on body parts!  We even use the seven words you can’t say on TV (bless you George Carlin).  I am demure in real life, so you know Sassy is in action when you start hearing those!  
Listen!
When you are getting to know someone online – flirting, exploring the possibilities for more – the words you choose make a huge difference!  Pay attention to the words they use – discuss what inspires you, and what makes you cringe!  Here are some of my likes/dislikes on the language front: 
a.  Slut etc
I am a good girl.  I do the right things.  I am nice to people.  And I think sex is a healthy, positive thing.  So the whole “slut, whore, bitch, dirty, naughty” vocabulary makes me feel like you don’t know me and I want to argue with you.  I know there’s a movement to reclaim those words and use them in an adoring way, but I am not there.  I suffered terribly in high school with the undeserved “slut” tag and haven’t been able to joke about it.  It feels like a vicious slap.  I get that some men see it as a compliment… but not for me.  I made a little progress when a blogger told me I could be “his slut” rather than “a slut” but it still raised my hackles.  
b. Baby
I hear this word a lot.  I know it is an endearment.  But I don’t like it.  I am NOT a baby.  I am a big wild full grown WOMAN.  I didn’t like “girl” either until Philip starting using it… but he is talking about the girl that I was… harkening back to the golden days we spent holding hands and kissing in high school.  So this points up the importance of taking a breath and changing your mind sometimes, depending on the context. 
My mother was very proper, so vulgarity is also tough.  But I have learned to appreciate and use George Carlin’s seven words, especially fuck.  🙂  Shit, tits… I don’t use them much, but they don’t jar. I prefer chest, breast… If you hear them, you know something special is going on!  And when Sassy gets going, it is amazing the sentences that fly from her mouth, as you’ve seen in our chats.  I even typed cunt a couple of times!  Used as a body part and not an insult, it can produce very hot results. 
d. Body parts
Medical words are no good for me… clinical yuck.  Penis, vagina. labia, rectum…oh, just stop. 
I’m fine with cock, dick, ass, tits, breast, chest, clit, belly, tummy… and I try to pay attention to what the guy uses and adopt it.  And gauge his mood by what words he is using.  I try to vary it in my writing.  I read a lot of romance novels years ago and try not to use their language!  Bulging manhood.  Heh.
I am still looking for a good word for the “back door?”  “Rim?”  Ass hole springs to mind but has too much baggage.  Any ideas?
And finally.. I need a new word for what most men call pussy.  I learned to read that one and not giggle, but it’s tough.  I looked at a website that had like… 2000 synonyms and didn’t see one I liked. I can’t believe I don’t have a word for such an important body part… probably says something about our culture that is too deep for me to grasp.  So my writing avoids it.  “Inside me…?”  My kingdom for a good word!  Any suggestions? 
P.S. I love the phrase “balls deep.”  Oh yeah.  Got that from another blogger and I am keeping it!  Any particular phrase that makes you hot every time you read it? 
Of course, now that I’ve written all that, I want to STOP TALKING and have sex!  Arrrrgh!  
On that note, I will turn you over to the goofmeister himself, the man who a living illustration of the art of sprezzatura, has the most eclectic musical tastes this side of the Atlantic Ocean – the sports aficionado, the fabulously handsome sexy and wordy, hits and comment whore himself…. Mr. Ryan Beaumont!

Ryan’s Take:
Oh Sassy, you’ve crossed a line with me! “Sprezzatura?” Really? You know at first I was so sure you calling me something like a little weenie in Greek or some other dead language I slept through in high school. And so I had to google (I hate when a girl makes me have to google myself). OK, so I guess it’s OK. And of course you are A-OK! But then I realized you kind of did my theme for me which is good because I’ve always believe “why do it yourself when you can get a woman to do it for you!” 🙂

Sprezzarura  “a certain nonchalance, so as to conceal all art and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it” (that’s googled of course).
Seems like this whole concept of confidence and getting the words right might have something to it. I wonder?
So through most of my life with Shannon sex was a reward for good behavior. Nice dinner = sex. Trip to the beach = sex. Bad mood = No sex. And Shannon always held a grudge so make up sex was something that happened after Ryan did something to make up from his screw up.

Then as I said above I met Alecia. She actually had the audacity to ask me to kiss and then said provocatively that“we’re going to have sex.” Wow, now that is a lady. Unfortunately it didn’t last.
But then I met Sandra and I delighted in being her “boy toy.” Now that lady surely did like sex; no strings AT ALL! It seemed effortless with her. I just showed up, smiled, listed to her complain about her hapless overweight husband and then boingo! I got laid. She delighted in the fact that I wanted her to feel good when I fingered her and rubbed her clit and massaged her inside and up and down that pubic bone. She giggled when I insisted we play in the shower after sex, knowing it would lead to a second time in front of the mirror and she would get a good view of me behind her.
And during all this time I was reading these blogs by women like Kat and Naughty Kitty about women who just LOVED sex. It seemed all a guy needed to do was find them and win the sex jackpot!

But then sometimes I’d read one of Kat’s posts and she would talk about yucky stuff like needed to feel a connection and that she needed to feel respected and listened to. Now my head was spinning! Hey Kat, yesterday you were talking about hooking up with “Young hottie” and now I have to get on the same mental wave length. I just wanted to get into the quick sex line, I didn’t realize I had to think as well.

But still those ladies wrote about just needing “a good *ucking” or really enjoying the taste of cock.

What did this mean. Were we back to being a code talker?

Can’t they just blow us first 
and then talk?

And then it hit me one day. These women, in fact most women, do in fact like sex. No actually they love it. Hell, if they could they’d get nailed everyday from about every angle possible. But the catch was, WITH THE RIGHT GUY (doing it the right way). So was that a big catch? Not really. You see in this world unless you enjoy going the Lesbo route us guys are the only game in town. When you look at it that way these women are really at our mercy. It’s like pulling off at one of those exits between Staunton and Lexington on I-81; no good options. That is unless you are like me and enjoy a good greasy spoon sometimes and don’t mind the subtle smell of armpit.

So here is the secret guys, listen up. Women do like sex. The funny thing is they are really rooting for us. Take Kat for instance. How many times has she written about her husband being a complete imbecile when it comes to reading her emotions (sorry Kat, I know he really is a good guy). And yet she keeps coming back. Why? She’s rooting for him.
You see back in the day when I was Sandra’s “boy toy,” those minutes I listened to her yackety yacking about her dogs, her hair appointment, her husband forgeting to change the oil in the car, her rascal of a son-in-law, what I was doing unknowingly was connecting. The bottle of wine that I picked up for $15 said I took the time to think about her
.
So I’ve come full circle. Women are a code to be unlocked. But the thing is they are not like a 15 digit Krypton safe. Really, the code is in most cases pretty easy and probably fairly cheap. It’s the few minutes you spend hearing that she likes Italian and then confidently telling her you really have been wanting to show her this Italian restaurant that you adore. Your eagerness, confidence, and caring, that delicate mixture of beta with the subtle shift to confident alpha will crack the code every time.

It gets back to that sprezzarurafication Sassy was talking about (at least I think). Make the art of discovering her easy, carefree, and as effortless as breathing and she’ll jump yer bones like it’s goin’ out ‘O style! Because in the end she likes sex and she’s routing for YOU! So go out there and don’t waste her time “Show” her!

Julie Andrews singing “Show Me” from “My Fair Lady”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8KC7a4K3cI

First Blogiversary!

Same Sassy Girl is passing a major milestone today – one year of blogging.  Wow!  How can this integral part of my life be only one year old?!

I had no idea when I started this blog experiment I’d reveal all this strange and wonderful stuff.  Or that I’d still be doing it a year later.  I look at every post and think… “can I do this?”  I almost stopped in February during the Big Blog Disappearances, and again recently when playing with a military man became a hot spot to be.  I am half-excited and half-terrified every time I hit “Publish,” but telling my story seems worth it – remembering, recording, trying to make sense of it and sharing it.  I work so hard to entertain Philip and keep the connection open.  Now I want to do the same with you!

I am astonished I have kept the blog a secret. It is strange not to share what I consider a major accomplishment with my real life friends and family, and to share so many feelings with you and none of the usual facts!   There are many of you I trust, but it’s simpler to stay anonymous.

This blog has led me to so many other fabulous blogs!  I’ve learned so much about life, love, great sex, and myself.  I’ve connected with so many wonderful bloggers and other readers.  Thirty-three members.  Over 30,000 hits.  Over 550 posts.  Even a Liebster award!  Whee!

I’m still writing!  Wow!!  And you are still here reading!  Wow!!!  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

As the handsome and talented Ryan Beaumont of “The Ashley Madison Adventures of a Regular Guy Gone Bad” put it so beautifully in his two-year blogiversary post today, I’d better get back out there and live my life so I have more to write about!

Hugs with groping!

-Sassy

Sassy Answers: How I create a sexy blog post

Hiya, Readers!

It’s time once again for a break from the Phil & Sassy train, to answer a fun question from one of you!

Q.  How do you create a blog post?  

A.  Good question!  I know it looks like I just break the cardinal rule of cheating (delete everything) and copy over old correspondence.  But quite a bit more goes into the posts you see!  Here’s a behind-the-scenes look into my grueling process.  It may be like watching sausage being made – something you’d rather not know!  If you’re the type of person who doesn’t want to know, click away now!

I usually blog about a year ago, a month at a time, a month ahead of time.  So right now I am working on December 2011.  It makes me look at the “big picture” of what was going on, spread stuff out in a nice way and keep the flow of the conversation similar to what it felt like originally, so you get a feel for what a day-by-day long-distance relationship is about.  And it keeps me from saying things because of how they’d look in the blog.  And I hope it helps with the anonymity as people might remember where I was recently but not a year ago.  I may toss in a post here and there on the fly, but for the most part, I set up posts about the past with a future posting date.

Here are the NINE STEPS I follow, aiming for about 10 posts a week:

1) Mix tape songs
     I keep a spreadsheet of the music videos I sent to Philip, with the date, youtube link and band info.  I go to the link, copy off the song title, and put that into a post, then blogger lets you pull in youtube videos.  Then I search for the lyrics, because the words were very important, copy them into an email to change them to plain text, and add them to the post.   I listen to each one and it gets me into the mood I was in at that time.  These posts always go live at 4 pm on the day of the week now corresponding to that date a year ago.  
2) Facebook messages
     I copied all the messages into a word document by day or week or month as I went along.  I change our names with the “find and replace” feature, copy the entire month into a post, then split it off into individual posts by days as I have time.  These messages post at 9 am on the day of the week now corresponding to that date a year ago.  
3) Texts
     I dutifully typed the texts and downloaded the photos off my phone and into a word document by month.  More recently, I am mixing texts and FB messages together as I save them, but in the old days, it seemed important to keep them separate.  So I use the “find and replace” feature to change the names, then copy the entire file into a post and try to weave them into the FB message posts I’ve already started. 
4) Emails
      I saved my “sent mail” folder (breaking another rule).  So I find them and weave them into with the FB messages and texts posts I’ve already started, changing the names as I go.
5) Photos
    I downloaded all the photos off my phone into a file.  The filenames contain the date they were taken, so I can easily find them and upload them to a post so you can see the food or the fauna or body parts.  Sadly, anything with a face is deleted, and anything that shows where I live or work.  And I can’t show you anything Philip sent me.  I look at each one, trying to decide if they’re anonymous enough… but so far, no.  I also show sexy photos that I sent to Philip from other sources.  
6) Livejournal
   I have a journal that my friends read, so I read the posts for the month, see if there was anything interesting I was thinking about.  Sometimes I posted a “private entry” that only I can see.  Anything mentioning Philip is locked away.  This is where my rare deep philosophical drivel ends up.  So I don’t send it to Philip!  I copy those into an email to change them to plain text and then copy them into a post here.  
7) Facebook timeline
   I browse back through my FB timeline, looking for stuff I posted to my wall because it was okay for everyone to see it, even if it was meant for Philip.  I copy it into the post with the messages and texts and photos, or make a separate post, depending on what it was.  I often put stuff on my wall that had some inside joke for him.  Many times I would post a photo and he would post a corresponding one of the same thing from his life a few minutes later – the view out my window, my dinner, my pets…sharing our lives miles away.    
8) Flll gaps with other stuff
   If there are days when Philip and Sassy were being boring, I write up a “Sassy Answers” post like this one, or something else to spice up the day.  If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask!  
   Jonathan Carroll’s Facebook page provides an amazing stream of posts which touch me every day, and every now and then I can’t resist sharing them with you. 
   Other bloggers tell amazing stories that I have to share!  Here is my current favorite from Max’s Thoughts from a Mystic Saytr: The Space Between 
   There are several weekly blog memes like “Flash Fiction Friday” or “TMI Tuesdays.”  I don’t participate often but I read them in other blogs and think about adding them when they inspire me.

   I participate in Kat’s blog chain over at “Prowling with Kat” so those posts show up on the tenth of every month.  Did you read Advizor54’s take on having sex with a politician earlier this month?  It is twisted and smoking hot!  
9) Final proofing
    At this point in the proccess, I have about 40 posts in draft format.  I check to see that they’re spaced out – never more than two a day, something every day etc.  I check to be sure they’re tagged correctly and timed correctly.  I try to spice up the blog titles.  
Finally, I do a search to check for my real name, Philip’s real name, our employers, and various other words that it would be better I don’t share!  Then I read through each post, double-checking for info that would indentify us, and any other goofs.  I try to re-word stuff if I can, then get very sad as I clip out many of the details of our lives that would make for great stories.  But I hope the Philip & Sassy shenanigans are enough… and I hit PUBLISH!  WHEE! 
I often go back the day before a post is set to go live, for one more look.  It’s kind of scary how often I find another typo or something that I didn’t want to divulge!  And I try to look at posts once they’ve gone live.  Again, I find errors, or odd characters or spacing that only crops up after they’re live.  Bleh!  
So, for anyone who has read this far, thank you!  There you have the nine tedious steps it takes to bring you our long-distance love story!  It looks like a lot of work, but it is worth it to make me remember what a wonderful story it is, to put in a plug for old flames, to hear from my readers and be part of this amazing community of sweet, sexy bloggers!

BLOG YOURSELF!  If you are not already blogging – START!  Whatever you are doing or thinking or fantasizing about, write about it!  You may not be able to tell anyone in your real life, but we are here to read and comment!  And Blogger makes it easy with lots of backgrounds and widgets and stats.

Hugs with groping to you!  

-Sassy