Monthly Archives: September 2015

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Meet #35 Part 2 / planning #36

Friday, September 26, 2014

Kris was dressed and sipping coffee sitting on the sofa when I got up.  I bumbled around taking my pills then did my morning routine.  I asked if he’d drop me at work so Hubby could sleep in, and he agreed!  I threw on my clothes and we chatted our way to my office.  He told me to have a good weekend, that he had to stay home and get things done.  I wished him well and went off to work.  I took this as a brush-off and did not expect to hear from him for awhile.

An hour later, my phone lit up.  Ha!

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Kris: got a proposal.   10:00 AM
Kris: to say “yes” u need to put your “wtf/why not” cap on… 10:02 AM
Kris: “what the fuck / why not”? Crazy Kris 10:03 AM
Me: So propose already! 10:16 AM
Kris: take Mon off.  go on three day bike road trip with me. leave early tomorrow morning.  return Mon night.  gorgeous warm weather.  amazing scenery.  man you’ve deluded yourself into imagining u have good sex with.   😉  Evil Alfalfa 10:59 AM
Me: Oh that sounds so good! But I have to be with Mom tomorrow lunch time. And I can not take Monday off, as I am taking Wednesday off for Mom’s birthday. And you said you need to stay home and get things done! I would adore taking you to the beach in RI later Saturday and/or Sunday. 11:25 AM
Kris: ok.  let me think about it.  will get back to u.  🙂 1:18 PM
Kris: if u want to go to R.I. Sat, spend nite, back Sun nite?  I’m game.  just one catch.   3:57 PM
Kris: I’m broke.  could split cost in half.  but u would have to pay full amount now.  I would have to owe my share to u possibly into late Nov.  3:59 PM
Kris: if u cant.  or would just rather not.  I understand.  in same boat (Titanic?)  Alfalfa 4:00 PM
Me: Yay! Two questions – can you be here by 2 pm tomorrow? May I drive? 6:53 PM

Kris: yes and yes.  can u afford to lend me half the cost?  assume we’d spend the nite in hotel someplace?  if so – who would shop for room? Hubby doesn’t need car? just want comfort of a/c car? “break from bike? lots of questions!  sorry late in replying.  need to get up early to work.  so free to enjoy time with you! 2:12 AM

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Meet #35 Soup and The Couch

Thursday, September 25, 2014 

I was sitting at my desk at 8:30 pm, missing Kris, chatting with another blogger online, when my phone lit up.  There was a text from Kris!  

Kris: watcha up to? 8:33 PM
Me: Sitting at my desk! 8:35 PM
Kris: just got out of work, listening to loud rock music.  just stopped to think/decide – go to gym?   skip gym and go home? skip gym and go someplace else? Hmmm.  South or North?Conflicted/Messed Up Alfalfa 8:49 PM
Me: I await your decision. You are welcome here! 8:52 PM
Kris: might not b good for much. listen to music u don’t like.  whine.  annoy u 8:54 PM
Me: Sounds great! 8:55 PM
Kris: incorrigible.  Okay.  South it is!  have car.  will park at rink.  use front door.  eta 9:20.  apt #? 8:57 PM
Me: [apt #] 8:58 PM
Me: YAY! 8:58 PM
Kris: incorrigible! 🙂 9:00 PM

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I dashed around picking up and cleaned the kitchen a bit.  I took stock of what I could offer him to eat. 
He appeared at 9:20 pm!  He brought tomatoes from his garden, and I fed him a bowl of Progresso pasta e fagioli soup.  He sat on my sofa eating while I sat at my desk working on arrangements for a trip to the midwest at Thanksgiving. 
He talked of his pain.  His brain will not shut up about how he has screwed up his life.  Lost his wife, his family… but on the other hand, he can ride his motorcycle, grow his hair, has gotten an earring.  He told me about his wife asking for money.  He asked her to stop telling him how evil he is, and she has been civil!  He did mention that he has not heard from his children in 3 months.  And that his brother came from far away for his annual vacation on the Cape and didn’t even tell him about it.  He found out from his mother that he’d been in town.  He wondered how long they will shun him.  At least his mother is still being good to him.  
I went over and sat down next to him on the couch.  He put his head in my lap and I rubbed his chest.  He pulled up his shirt so I could play with the hair on his chest and tweak his nipples.  He said he found it comforting.  I rubbed his head.  He continued to talk about his life.  He apologized for whining.  I told him I am so glad he turns to me instead of suffering in silence. Maybe as he talks about it, he will see new ways around his troubles.  It got to be past midnight and I had to make myself go to bed.  I sat up and he started rubbing my back.  Oh man… that felt soooo good!  I could’ve sat there for hours.  But I had to get some sleep.  He said that was too bad.  He wanted to rub other areas!  Hee… but it was 1 am by then.  I tore myself away.


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Popping around

Thursday, September 25, 2014
            
5:58am
Good morning!  Fell asleep at 8 pm!  Woke up at 2:30 am wide awake… been popping around the net, filled my pill reminder box, set up an account on a new social media thing called ello… guess I’d better try to sleep some more.  Here’s to a fine Thursday!

11:59am Phil
Hope you got some rest!

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Some better luck

Wednesday, September 24, 2014
8:11am
Good morning kid!  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

8:46am Phil 
You should be feeling refreshed and perky this morning.

8:48am   

Yes… Great how he brightens my day!

8:51am Phil 
I’m so glad. Happy he is part of your life again. He seems to make you happy.

I am persona, non gratis with Beach Gal again. After dumping all that on me on my birthday, she has shut down again. Guess she has no idea what an emotional roller coaster this is for me or perhaps she knows exactly what she is doing

9:38am
So sorry to hear she has gone silent again.  Bleh.  She is probably tied up in her own drama and does not see how it affects you.

9:40am
My visit with Kris reminded me of you.  He appeared right on time at 5.  I showed him my office, kissed him at my desk and in the elevator!  We strolled around outside than sat people-watching a while, then walked to dinner.  We crossed the street to a dessert place for decadent sweets. 

He brought me home on his bike.  We camped out on the sofa with his head on my lap and his cock in my hand!  He fell asleep, so I tucked him in and sadly went off to bed alone.

9:41am

He had great news – his renter admitted starting the fire with a cigarette, and offered to pay the $1k deductible.  And his insurance will cover indoor cleaning, replacing and staining his entire deck and the patio doors, then painting his entire downstairs, as it has an open floor plan so if they paint the part near the fire, they need to keep going!  So he gets a renovation!  And they’re starting this morning!   Finally some better luck for him!!

10:21am Phil 

I’m glad he has some good news. That’s awesome!  

Beach Gal is in this thing where she has made a big deal about this guy and the ring and now is having second thoughts after acting impulsively. She does not know this guy well enough to marry him. That takes time. He is going to turn her house into a drug den, spend her money and most likely get them both arrested. That’s what I see. Her personality is such that she is going to like the coke. She has depression issues, takes meds for it and the coke makes her euphoric and makes her feel in control. This is not going to end well. I know her too well, can read the signals and signs by now and I don’t believe I can stop it. She is so damn stubborn, she won’t admit she acted hastily and needs to back off. She will lie to herself and say it’s all okay when it’s simply not. I asked if he made her knees bend, did he take her breath away, no answer. She responded that being content is enough. I know that wears off but you can’t tell her. Frustrating as hell.

11:01pm Phil 

Hey girl, sweet dreams.


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Meet #34 The Office

Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Me: Happy Fall! Hope you have a great Tuesday! 7:44 AM
Kris: thanks.  u too.. 🙂 7:45 AM
Me: If I wanted to hold your hand and talk and smile… let me know when I could do that. I could drive, meet you somewhere. Not going to Mom’s tonight. Open every night this week except Friday. 9:14 AM
Kris: how bout I pick u up at your work today on my bike? Maybe u could invite me in to see your office?  Evil Alfalfa 12:17 PM
Me: YAY! Don’t have my heavy jacket but could do a little ride. Can you get here by about 5 pm? Parking’s tricky but around 5pm there may be spots. Ping me once you’ve parked – I’ll meet you on the street, bring you in for the grand tour. Oh goody! 12:29 PM
Kris: I expected a whining “ohhhh.  I don’t know!!!  u must want to hold hands pretty badly… 😉 ping u when I get there.  try to be on time 12:41 PM
Kris: …mean I’ll try to be on time (u always r). 12:42 PM
Me: You are making my day! Makes it so much easier to get thru the day when I can look forward to holding your hand! Just not in the office, please! 1:01 PM
Kris: ok…”just a friend”.   😉 1:09 PM
Me: My friend Kris. 🙂 1:12 PM
Kris: 🙂 1:26 PM
Kris: here! 5:03 PM
Me: Yay! I’ll be right down. 5:03 PM

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I was very brave this morning.  I woke up thinking that I wanted to see Kris.  I wanted to hold his hand and see his smile.  So I texted him to tell him that!  I try never to ask him, to wait for him to invite me.  I don’t want to add any pressure when he is already stressed to the max, and I don’t want him to think I am “luring him” to do things he doesn’t want to, preying on his weakness for me. 
9:14 am 
If I wanted to hold your hand and talk and smile… let me know when I could do that.  I could drive, meet you somewhere.  Not going to Mom’s tonight.  Open every night this week except Friday.  
12:17 pm
how bout i pick u up at your work today…..on my bike?  Maybe u could invite me in to see it. ….Evil Alfalfa
12:29 pm
YAY!  Don’t have my heavy jacket but could do a little ride.  Can you get here by about 5 pm?  Parking’s tricky but around 5pm there may be spots.  Ping me once you’ve parked – I’ll meet you outside, give you the grand tour.  There’s a farmers market that’s fun to walk around too.  Oh goody!  
12:41 pm
i expected a whining “ohhhh….i don’t know!!!…..u must want to hold hands pretty badly…  ;). …..  ping u when i get there….
1:01 pm
You are making my day!  Makes it so much easier to get thru the day when I can look forward to holding your hand!  Just not in the office, please!  

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Kris appeared right on time at 5.  We had such fun! I met him out on the street and gave him a tour of my office!  One of my colleagues was there and I introduced him as “my friend Kris.”  I kissed him at my desk and in the elevator!  
I gave him the nickel tour of the area.  We sat outside and people-watched a while.  He had great news – his renter admitted starting the fire with a cigarette,  and offered to pay the $1k deductible.  And his insurance will cover indoor cleaning, replacing and staining his entire deck and the patio doors, then painting his entire downstairs, as it has an open floor plan so if they paint the part near the fire, they need to keep going!  So he gets a renovation!  And they’re starting this morning!  Finally some better luck for him. 
We went to dinner.  He told me about visiting his mother on Sunday.  She noticed his longer hair and earring, commented that they were odd to see “on a man of his age” and then let it drop.  Not too bad, he thought!  We had a wonderful meal –  we shared clam chowder with bacon, and crispy calamari with a spicy tomato sauce.  I had meatloaf with mashed potatoes and broccoli, and he ate their swordfish specials with fingerlings and green beans.  We traded bites.  
We crossed the street to a dessert place for decadent sweets.  He wanted the 6-item sampler.  


I had the hazelnut hot chocolate – the stuff dreams are made of.  We decided the creme brulee was so delicious – we ordered a whole one!  It comes in a huge bowl with fresh fruit and lemon cookies.  
He brought me home on his bike.  It was fun to cruise down my usual streets and see them in a new way on the open bike.  There wasn’t much traffic so we could roll easily and I wasn’t so nervous.  I got him into the garage and moved my car to the street.  I took him upstairs and kissed him hot and heavy in the elevator.  My phone had died, so I went in first to check to be sure Hubby was clothed.  He was up and decent, playing video games, so I told Kris to come on in. 
We camped out on the sofa with his head on my lap and his cock in my hand!  I got texts from four guys while I was sitting there – Philip, a cub, a chatter and a blog fan!  Yeesh.  They were jealous!  
Suddenly his mood changed.  *sigh  He talked again about how he should not have come down here.  That he is going against his beliefs.  But he is weak and can’t stick to them.  He talked about the women he is meeting from the Christian Mingles site.  He told the “little old lady who lives in a shoe” that he is no longer interested.  She is great but he can’t deal with her myriad children.  So he is still talking to three women.  It’s interesting to see how he talks about them and the search for a new wife, even if it all seems wrong and desperate.  
I wanted to do more, but he fell asleep, so I tucked him in and sadly went off to bed alone.  He was gone before I got up in the morning.  But the joy of our evening together will keep me smiling for quite awhile!  
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Two hands

Tuesday, September 23, 2014
7:40am   
Good morning!  Being there to listen may be the thing that makes the difference.  Hard but worth it if she kicks him and the coke.  

 I’m off joust with the boss again  Whee!

 4:21pm

Take a book title that asks a question, and answer it with maximum snark.

http://thehairpin.com/2014/09/book-titles-answered/

10:34pm Phil 
Good luck with that! I still love her, always will so I will always listen and always help anyway I can. I really can’t do anything less. Just me I guess.

Hope your day was good!


10:38pm
Kris is here! We’re on my sofa with his head in my lap and cock in my hand!

10:39pm Phil 

Ooh nice! How you typing with his cock in your hand?

10:40pm   

I have two hands and he is mostly asleep

10:40pm Phil 
Hot, enjoy baby, take good care of that cock, hope he takes good care of your pussy

You could have a cock in that hand too

11:04pm Phil 

I’m jealous.
Enjoy baby
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There to listen

Monday, September 22, 2014
            
6:40am Phil 
Glad you got some lobsta. Back to work for me. 

My brother and the gang are coming Friday. Looking forward to that. 

Worried about my friend. I feel helpless but she was high as a kite and drunk as hell and told me something she wants no one else to know. Hard to watch someone who was pure and simple destroy themselves. She will be addicted if not already so. When you say you know it’s bad but you like it, you are half way there. Only a matter of time before an arrest for possession or attempting to buy and then the job goes. I want to help but don’t know how.

7:59am

Good morning kid.  There must be someone who knows what to do, either online or in your life… other people have faced this.  If you’re going to help, sooner is better.

10:20am Phil 
I’m trying. Don’t want to share the info either. She trusts me. Reaching out to friends. Most say tell her to go to counseling now. Getting them to go is another issue. You hate yourself for doing it but love how it makes you feel. What makes it so hard to fight.  

She has not responded to me since Saturday nite. We talked for way over an hour then but nothing since. That’s the way she has been. Just told her I was here for whatever she needs. Another friend told me to confront the boyfriend. That’s not the way. I hate him for getting her involved in this and no good would come of me getting in his face. Hate’s a word I use rarely but I hate him, wish nothing but bad for him. Makes me feel lesser for that but he is hurting someone I love and I take that seriously and personally. Her choice but he’s garbage. No one else I can tell. Thank you for listening.

10:28am
I know this might be extreme, but could you drop a dime on him, anonymously?  Get him arrested without ensnaring her?  Do the cops even care about this stuff much anymore?

10:52am Phil 

They care about coke not marijuana, but that’s a last step that I would never get forgiveness for

11:09am Phil 

She swears if he does not stop, she will leave, I don’t believe that. She does not want to be alone again. She likes the fact he is a bit of a rogue. She also has discovered she likes the coke. Problem is crack is the next step when snorting no longer does it for you. I have witnessed the effect of that. Both are a bitch to quit. You can’t just say, I’m not going to do it anymore. She went out to get drunk on her birthday and ended up drunk and high. Who at 45 goes out to get drunk?  I’d opt for a nice candlelight dinner with wine and then a lot of snuggling and together time to follow. Just me though. I’m good with the bar and having drinks but I hate being drunk and avoid it at all costs

12:12pm Phil 

Told me it was a lapse in judgment and won’t happen again. She promised she was good. Denial and a lie. She is anything but good. Was not a momentary lapse, she has been snorting for awhile and the boyfriend has been doing it all his life, he ain’t gonna stop. You can’t help someone who does not want your help. She can’t call me high as a kite, tell me she loves me, talk about the kids and all and the decide oh shit and block me out till she fucks up again and needs to talk but I will talk, I’ll be there and let her rip a little more of my heart out. I have never not responded, not answered, I have always been there to listen to her cry or talk or whatever she needed and I guess I always will be. I’m an overgrown fool I guess.


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Keeping me warm

Sunday, September 21, 2014 

Kris: yes….thanks. 🙂 8:00 AM

Me: Good morning! Mwah! 8:02 AM

Me: Wish I could roll over and cuddle with you. 8:03 AM

Kris: 🙂 8:12 AM

Me: It’s very hard to be here with “Mr Don’t Touch Me” when I thought I’d be with you. 8:30 AM

Kris: sorry. (:  not the same but hug from afar.  but on the positive side u dodged a potentially big bullet – a ride in the COLD AND RAIN ON A BIKE FROM BAR HARBOR TO BOSTON – count your blessings… 😉 8:43 AM

Me: Hugs. Had a hot dream about you and the bike. That’s keeping me warm for now! 8:49 AM
Kris: 🙂 8:51 AM

Me: Hope you had a good day.  Date go well?  Sleep well dear man.  11:59 PM
Kris: no date – cancelled yesterday after found out about fire.  Visited mom today.  watched Pats then movie (“The Help”…good flick) till 11:00 – just got home.  Good news! rented another room, one more to go! Sleep well too 🙂 12:29 AM