Doggie race

Saturday, July 19, 2014
10:11am Good morning!  Hope you had fun last night.

Kris had a bout of “I need to get things done.  I am too stressed to be good company” so I sat alone.  He got his divorce papers yesterday… too real.  *sigh 

Have a super Saturday!  I’m off to Mom’s as usual.
1:58pm
Such a beautiful day!  Mom and I ate outside at Blue Ribbon BBQ!  I adore their NC pulled pork sandwich with cole slaw.

6:44pm 
Here’s a fun dog video – take a minute to smile!  
Disabled Dachshund Named Anderson Pooper Runs In Weiner Dog Race

This is the sweetest goddamned thing. A Washington radio station holds an annual Wiener Dog rally and this year’s race took place last Sunday. We don’t know who won the race, but Anderson Pooper, chugging along in his little doggie wheelchair, has won our hearts.

7:46pm Phil 

I had a very enjoyable night! Stayed with Fred.

Kris is gonna have to come to grips. It’s tough. Sorry girl

7:48pm 

No word from him today.  *sigh. 
Glad you had fun!

8:02pm Phil 
[PHOTO of him smiling with his beautiful naked shoulders and chest]
8:02pm Phil 
[PHOTO of him smiling with a bicycle in the background]
8:02pm Phil 
Something to make you smile

8:03pm
Oh yeah!  That’s the ticket!  Drool.  Thanks kid!!

8:59pm Phil 

My pleasure baby. Anything I can do to bring a smile

Good or evil?

Friday, July 18, 2014
8:31am 
Good morning kid! Had a fun time at Hubby’s project event last night.  
Happy Friday!

11:18am Phil 

Aww, cool! Still away on business but leaving soon.

Tough week, long ass hours and forced to spend a lot of time in Beach Gal’s neck of the woods which just hurts my heart. I’ll get over it sure but it will time, she was everything and I just did not see it. There were issues but there always are.

On a happier note – Going to have dinner with Fred. Trying to figure out exactly what that is, fun for sure. Enjoy your day!

4:30pm
Kris got served his divorce papers today.  He called to me he won’t be visiting tonight.  *sigh

8:14pm
Took another Facebook quiz – How Good or Evil Are You? 

http://www.brainfall.com/quizzes/how-good-evil-are-you/2277m1/

It says I’m 74% good and 26% evil! That makes me a “Pretty Darn Good Person.”

“No one is an angel. (Well, except the people who scored above 85%, but they were probably lying anyway.) The important thing is that you seem determined to leave the world a better place than you found it. That sure does mean a lot to the rest of us!”

Phew! Was worried they’d label me a goody goody. 🙂

Vacillating Man

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
8:40am
Good morning Philip!
Kris stopped by last night!  A low key back rub escalated to using the silver bullet on him – his first vibe ever! Whee!  Have a wicked good Wednesday!

10:08pm Phil 

Sounds like fun!

10:09pm 

How you doing handsome?

10:18pm Phil 
I’m ok, had some long text talks with Beach Gal. Was nice but also sad. Miss her so much. Been working 15 hour days too

10:20pm 
Beach Gal huh?  You are the most vacillating man!

10:24pm Phil 
Never stopped loving that girl. Never will I guess.  I’m a fool, I know but she melts my heart.

Never claimed to have a lick of common sense

10:26pm 

Awww… I know sweetie… part of your charm.

10:28pm Phil 

Yeah yeah. I’d give up everything I have for the chance to try but she seems happy and I’d live in a cell rather than do anything to upset that

Again, a fool

10:36pm Phil 
Why do fools fall in love as the song goes

10:38pm 

that’s where all the fun happens!

10:40pm Phil 

Yeah?

10:43pm 
Roller coaster for sure… but I’ve learned the ups are worth the downs

10:48pm Phil 

The ups were amazing. Downs suck but yeah all worth it. 
Love her kids like my own. Wrapped up in memories. All good

10:50pm 
I was very bad last night.

10:50pm Phil 

I’ll never learn. Oh?
Silver bullet sounds fun

10:51pm
Kris popped by “just to talk” and I dragged him into my bedroom

10:52pm Phil 
That’s not bad. He probably needed a distraction

10:52pm 

That’s what I thought

10:52pm Phil 

10:52pm

Never done that before!  Half of me feel evil for not taking no for answer, the other half felt righteous giving him some relief from his troubles

I don’t know if it will make him more or less likely to come back

But I thought about what I needed for once!

10:54pm Phil 
Good for you.

I just care about what she needs but I love her

Strange emotion, love

11:00pm
You need to quit thinking of the women and look after yourself a bit!

11:00pm Phil 

I’m sure it did Kris some good
 Not my nature
11:00pm
Everyone else is being shitty to him… seems like I should be nice

I know kid… you know I’m the same

11:00pm Phil 

I agree.

She loves me, I know that but I hurt her and she just wants be number one for someone. I’d run to her and never look back given the opportunity. Fred is wonderful in so many ways but she’s not Beach Gal.  No one is.

I just bury myself in the job, eases the pain and keeps my brain occupied

11:04pm 

Why was she so ticked about the rose?

11:06pm Phil 
She thought it was from her guy and almost called him to say thank you. Then it dawned on her that the rose is much more something I would do than he would do and she checked.

just spooked her

Now I think she sees it as it was intended

11:11pm Phil 
called my bitch wife who has no reason to be tired and she was pissed.  I did not have two seconds to call all day, we have been so busy. I hung up on the bitch.  She can sleep in, she has no reason to be tired. So sorry I bothered with that. Sometimes I cannot stand that women.  I know I don’t miss her one little bit.

11:14pm

Surprised to see her so much thinner and actually smiling in a photo

11:19pm Phil 
She has lost 20lbs, done nothing for her personality though
Bitched until I took that picture

11:30pm 

At least you were smart enough to try other women… know that is not the way we all are!

11:33pm Phil 

Self indulgent, selfish, snobby little bitch most of the time.  Selfish, clueless in the sack too. I know that’s not the way it should be.  I have been pampered and loved and I liked it a lot

My daughter is just like her.  The boy, very much like me

11:36pm 
He doing better?
11:37pm Phil 
He is doing so well.  I’m so proud of him

12:07am Phil 

Nite girl, sweet dreams
12:08am 
Good night dear man

12:08am Phil

Meet #25 Sassy seduction

July 15, 2014 Tuesday 

Kris had not been in touch since he left Sunday morning.  I was missing him and hating that.  I was so revved up!  I had woken up from a very hot dream about trying out a vibrator at a sex shop… argh… and spent the day telling my mentourage about it.  

I had just gotten home from having dinner with Mom when Kris called about 8 pm and asked to come over.  He said he shouldn’t, but he wanted to.  I gave him an emphatic YES!  He said no sex, but I was desperate.  I was determined to get him to give me some relief.  
When he arrived, I stood behind him in the living room, rubbing his shoulders.  Every time I strayed anywhere near an erogenous zone, he pushed my hands back.  I rubbed and scratched… he says his wife won’t scratch his back for more than 10 seconds so I try to keep going until he says stop.  He leaned against me, and I went on and on.  He finally said enough.  I went to hug him but he walked away.  He said he wasn’t here to see Sassy, he wanted to talk with the real me.  I told him real me wasn’t around, Sassy needed him.  He kept calling my real name, searching for my boring, demure side.  Poor man. 
So I sat at my desk.  He ate some leftover pork lo mein from my fridge and asked me about my day.  He came over to rub on my back.  I was very bad… I unbuttoned my top.  He said “No skin!”  I explained I wanted to feel his hands on my bare shoulders, and demurely pulled my top across my chest while baring my shoulders.  He massaged my shoulders… then my neck… then my head and face… I tilted my head a bit and let my top slip so he could see my cleavage.  I took my bra straps down.  He kept rubbing my shoulders.  I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I pulled my left breast out and started rubbing it myself.  He rubbed my neck and came around to the front, but stayed high.  This was an incredible game of “where will he touch me?  Will he keep going if I touch my chest?  Will he keep going if I…”  I had been quiet so far, but I couldn’t keep the moans inside any longer.  He groaned a bit, like I was torturing him but kept rubbing my upper chest, watching me.  I put my other hand inside my slacks.  I was sooo wet!  I started asking questions.  
Can I undo your belt?
NO! 
So I can’t lick you?
NO! 
Or suck you?
OH COME ON!  
I’m just asking, figuring out where the line is…
I SHOULDN’T BE HERE! 
So why are you here?
I DON’T KNOW. 
You can tell me, I can take it.
I DON’T KNOW. 
So definitely no slow fucking?
GRRR…. 
I swiveled in my desk chair and hugged him around the waist.  He said this was a lot like tantric sex, touching all over the body, building the anticipation.  I stared into his eyes.  He said it’s a checkbox on Ashley Madison that men don’t understand but check because it sounds exotic. 
I finally could not stand it anymore.  I stood up and marched him into my bedroom!  He said it was wrong, he had made up his mind he could not lie anymore, he could not have sex anymore.  I asked who will ask him?  Who will care?  He said he would.  Ugh.  I said, “I need you to help me.”  I was in full evil seductress mode as I have never been before, but I swear it is the best thing for him, to get some release, to forget his troubles… and his protests seemed like he was trying them on for size, not committed to them.  Whatever.  I gently pressed him down on the bed, came down on top of him and started kissing him fiercely.  One thing led to another and he took very good care of me with his fingers and the little silver bullet.  
I was wondering if he would want my attentions, or consider that over this line he has built.  I took the silver bullet and ran it over his forehead, down his neck… he sighed.  I’ve never used a toy on him.  I put it on his nipple, then his belly button, then over his cock on the outside of his jeans. I moved it around his waist, and he unzipped his jeans.  I pressed it on his cock… said, “I don’t know what I’m doing… tell me…please” and he said it felt good on the underside.  So I held it there, then moved it back and forth.  “Still or moving?” I asked.  “Move,” he replied.  So I went back and forth, letting the buzzing radiate from the sensitive spot under the crown.  I moved down his body kissing and finally took him in my mouth, licking and sucking while keeping the bullet on his cock.  He got a blissful look on his face.  He said, “That… is… poetry.”  It wasn’t long before I had a mouth full of salted caramel.  🙂 
We had a good cuddle before Hubby got home and Kris moved to the couch to sleep.  
Geesh… reading this… I may have attained a new level of HUSSY!  
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
I  woke up to the sounds of Kris stirring around, eating a bowl of cereal… I got up just as he was leaving and gave him a quick hug.  He left at 7:30 am. 

Sad Sunday

Sunday, July 13, 2014
Kris left before I got up this morning, let me note that amounted to “I’m going away, putting on my big boy pants, going to deal with all the crap I have to deal with to sell the house and get back in at church and salvage my relationships with my children.”   Well then.
I made breakfast for Hubby and me – a comforting plate of blueberry pancakes and kielbasa.  Yum.

I called Kris to check on his plan for this evening, since I will be in and out all day – he said not tonight and seemed eager to get off the phone.  He said he was going to try to deal alone but this wouldn’t be our last conversation.  Okay then.

I was very sad… thinking of him dealing all alone, and for myself not having his smiling face around.  But I don’t think it’s up to me to be his sole support.  If I loved him and wanted to be with him when the dust settles, it might be different.  But the last thing I need is another man who needs so much and won’t touch me! 

I shudder thinking of starting again, so I will wait until I am so desperate it seems like a good idea.  Kris has really spoiled me with the trips and the dinners and wanting to be part of my life… don’t think I will see that again. But who knows what adventures are around the corner?  🙂 
Phillip called!  He was driving to the beach.  He is very sympathetic, has been where Kris is. 
I got organized, went to the grocery store to pick up bbq supplies.  I got cocktail shrimp and the ingredients for a caprese salad, and some big jugs of iced teas.  I took Hubby to work on his project, then zoomed out to the burbs for a project team BBQ.  I was very early but texted the host who invited me in to motivate her to make the final preparations.  I sliced tomatoes and mozzarella and elegantly displayed the shrimp on a platter while she finished setting up the back yard.

I wandered outside to hob knob and catch up on whatever project any particular person is doing.  Our alums are involved in so many things!  Someone brought a huge white bird – a cockatoo!  I had fun talking to the bird, who talks back!  
It got too hot so I ducked inside to bask in the a/c.  Several others joined me in the living room and we had a lively conversation.    
Too soon it was time for me to leave to pick up Hubby in Boston at 5:30 pm.  He wanted Chinese, so we popped over to a new place, Dumpling House, and he ordered take-out.  Sadly they were swamped, and it took 45 minutes!  I caught up on Facebook sitting in the car.  We finally made it home at 7:30 pm.  I had yummy chicken corn soup and peking ravioli.  I chatted with another blogger.  Nice to have a sympathetic ear!  
Not a word from Kris… I wonder when I will hear from him again?

Silly stickers

Sunday, July 13. 2014
10:16am
Homemade breakfast!
De Wafelbakkers blueberry pancakes, maple syrup, kielbasa and OJ!  Discovered the frozen pancakes from Shaw’s on Instacart – microwave for 1 minute and nom!

           

11:22am Phil 
Enjoy the afternoon!

11:58am

You too kid!  I wish I was beside you at the beach!  
Thanks for calling back… I had toddled off to shower by then.  
Thought of you and let the water pound me!

11:59am Phil 

Ha ha

12:02pm 
I am so sad today… you know that’s rare for me!  But I feel like I’ve grown a bit.  I want to help Kris, hate to see him suffering… but if he can’t help me, sees touching me as some moral failing?  I can’t be someone’s bad habit.  Or help a guy who won’t help me with the one thing I need.  Is that bad of me?

12:10pm Phil 

I have been there. Kids, friends all treating me like some creep. Beach Gal used to call herself my dirty little secret. She got so depressed and angry and sad, it ruined what we had. I needed time to sort it out. It’s not bad of you! This is hard.  Help if you can. His world just fell apart. He needs to talk and he has no one he can talk about this too. Sex is the last thing on his mind.

12:12pm 
Thanks for that perspective… it makes things make more sense.  I’ve worked really hard to make our time fun, a break from the rest of his crap,  not to mention my side… so you get to hear it.

12:16pm Phil 
12:44pm Phil
I’m always happy to listen. I’ve been down this road and I get it

12:51pm Phil 

I am sitting on the beach with a cold beer, nice breeze blowing, oysters coming, surrounded by lovelies in bikinis!
1:19pm 
rough!  I just braved the grocery!  Whee! 
They changed owners so I couldn’t find anything!

1:40pm

Taking Hubby in to Boston to help out on a project,  then run the monthly project meeting, then BBQ, then back to get Hubby.  Whee!

1:40pm Phil 

1:51pm Phil

[11-second VIDEO of the beach and the ocean from the deck of a restaurant]
2:28pm Phil 
[PHOTO of him smiling, wearing shades and sitting on the beach]
2:50pm Phil 
my favorite beach bar

2:51pm Phil 

[PHOTO of his toes in the sand with the beach, the surf, the ocean]
2:52pm 
Mmmm….toes!

3:13pm Phil 
[PHOTO of the beach with houses and vendors under umbrellas]

Meet #24 – Suddenly moral

Saturday, July 12, 2014 
Kris stayed over on the sofa Friday night.  Saturday when I woke up, he had set up his computer on my coffee table and was working and eating cereal.  He thought it would take about 7 hours.

Hubby woke up with a bad sore throat, so he stayed home and mostly slept until it was time to go out to work on his project in the evening.  I had to go see Mom, so we had a first with Kris and Hubby home together without me!  Odd for me to leave the two of them there but Kris said it went fine, and Hubby is very glad to help him out.

I had a nice lunch with Mom at the Great Mandarin Chinese buffet in Woburn.  They make these crunchy little leek wontons I’ve never seen anywhere else that I am addicted to.  I flirted with a Guatemalan landscaper.  Heh.  He walked right up to the table and asked, “How old is your mother?”  She answered.  Heh.  I asked him how old he is?!  40-something.  He sat down and chatted with Mom.  He’s the crew chief for a team of gardeners.  That’s never happened before!

Mom and I went to a matinee of a live radio show, then I took her home.  Hubby took off and I was left alone with Kris.
Kris finished most of his work by 6:30 pm and offered to take me out for supper.  We went out to Belle Isle Seafood across the harbor.  It was such a perfect evening!  We watched the sunset over the Boston skyline, with boats motoring into the marina and planes taking off from Logan.  The lobster pie was delicious and he devoured a baked swordfish steak. 

When we came home, I tried to kiss him as we came up in the elevator, like always.  “No serious kissing!” he says to me.  I ignored him, thinking he was kidding, but he pushed me away.  I really can’t deal with that!  
I watched porn while he finished more work.  He gave me a nice little back rub as a I sat at my desk.   We spent more sofa time.  He ticked me off talking about how I’ll be okay when he leaves me, I’ll find someone else who is a better lover, how he needs to give me up on the 1% chance his wife will relent.  I know he has to focus on his life, and relieve himself of worrying about me, but it’s tough to listen to.  Better than silence though!  
I tucked him in, kissed his forehead and went off to bed alone.

Belle Isle

Saturday, July 12, 2014
9:49am 
Good morning kid!  Another perfect weather day here! 
Off to Mom’s for lunch, then a local theater show matinee.   
Have a super Saturday!

10:05am Phil 

Enjoy! Going to the gym and then shopping, maybe a winery or two

I need shirts and lamb chops and stuff to make a big pitcher of sangria with

10:08am 

Huh… three things I never buy.

10:09am Phil 
Ha! Gotta have shirts!

10:09am

Old ones are okay for me.
10:12am Phil 
Work clothes you know. Looking raggedy this morning.

[PHOTO of him smiling, wearing a baseball cap and t-shirt]
10:12am 
Hiya Gorgeous!

7:25pm
Went out to Belle Isle Seafood for supper in Winthrop.  Nothing like Boston at sunset.  and LOBSTER PIE!  : )