With A Little Help From My Friends




“With A Little Help From My Friends”
John Winston Lennon, John Winston & Paul James McCartney
What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song
And I’ll try not to sing out of key
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends
What do I do when my love is away?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day?
(Are you sad because you’re on your own?)
No I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends
(Do you need anybody?)
I need somebody to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love
(Would you believe in a love at first sight?)
Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time
(What do you see when you turn out the light?)
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
(Do you need anybody?)
I just need someone to love
(Could it be anybody?)
I want somebody to love
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends

With a little help from my friends 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is this odd thing going on in my head – I can feel Kris suffering, all alone. He is an idiot for choosing to go it alone, but perhaps it is best for both of us.  My mind is so strange.  I need to let go!  
I dedicate this song to the bloggers, blog fans, chatters, Ashley Madison men, old flames, and my “real life friends” and husband.  They are very supportive and distracting.  They let me blather on about Kris leaving and help me feel better!

Salacious things

Thursday, July 24, 2014

7:58am

Good morning kid!  Much cooler here…ah.  Had fun in chat last night – they’re so good for support and distraction!  Have a great Thursday!

4:17pm Phil 

Hey there! Heading to another assignment for work. 
Glad ur buddies are helping!

6:20pm
Dinner at the Swanton Street Diner in Winchester.

 French onion soup and a caesar salad

Seafood risotto with shrimp, scallops, calamari 
and LOBSTER!

10:40pm Phil 

Whoo what a ride! Crazy storms

10:49pm 

Thunderstorms?

10:52pm Phil 

Nasty ones
10:52pm 
Yuck!  I hate driving in that… usually pull over somewhere and wait.

10:53pm Phil 

Took me 7 hours

10:54pm

Ouch!  How many is usual – 3? 4?

10:54pm Phil 

3 hours

10:55pm 

Damn.  Hope things get better from here!

10:56pm Phil
[PHOTO of his gorgeous cock in his hand, looking down his body]
10:56pm Phil 
It’s better

10:56pm
Well… I think so!

Watch out… I’ve just been watching porn… might say salacious things!

10:59pm Phil 

Horny ass hell. 
Some red head rocked my world the other night and I’m having flash backs

11:00pm 
Nice!

11:00pm Phil 

Oh yeah
11:00pm 
I’m remembering taking a toy to a man for his first time.

11:01pm Phil 
That sounds like fun, well I know it is

11:02pm 

I have henna on my hand… would look good on a cock

11:11pm Phil 
Nice!
11:11pm Phil 
[PHOTO of his gorgeous cock looking across his body]
11:11pm Phil 
Wrap it around that one

11:16pm 

Oh yeah… you have the best ideas kid!

Which Brit?

Wednesday, July 23, 2014
9:15am 
Good morning! Back at work!  
Have a wonderful Wednesday!

12:30pm
Took another silly quiz on Facebook.

Which Member of the British Royal Family Are You?

http://www.playbuzz.com/rebeccam16/which-member-of-the-royal-family-are-you

“Congrats, you are Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall! Even though it has taken a long time to show the world who you really are, you are a warm and friendly figure to all you meet. Although you may be judged harshly for your past actions, you always come out on top. You are happy to be a loyal and supportive figure to those you love, placing others before yourself.”


Silence vs. the Official Goodbye

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

It was a warm, humid day in the mid-80s.  I dropped Hubby off at his lady friend’s house for a get-together.  Just as I drove away, I noticed he left his phone in the car, so I circled around to give it to him.  They were waiting on the front step, and she came with him “to see my henna.”  We had a nice chat.  It is lovely he’s found someone who is nice to him and I can interact with so well.  I went off to take my mother to lunch and tried not to think of Kris. 
Today was better, not so many associations with Kris as there were at the lake yesterday.  
My mind is filled with questions.  How do I shut that off?  I so want to know how his meeting went with the guy who might help him find a divorce lawyer, and whether the tomatoes turned red that he showed me a photo of “green but just about ready to turn,” and whether he left his new pierced earring in or took it out and… “the rest of the story.”  But like any saga, when it stops, it stops.  You wonder but have to move on knowing you’re not allowed to know that anymore. 
This is the hardest part for me.  I still look at names of men on my AM list from almost two years ago and wonder how they’re doing, if they found someone… so tough for me to stop caring.  I store up all this data to make them happy and to follow up and then… I have to stop.  Move on.  I will.  In time. 
I’m analyzing the differences in this relationship ending face-to-face compared with others that have faded into silence.  The discussion in-person was tough.  But now I know.  I am not left to wonder, other than he might change his mind, and have more of a “now what?” puzzle that I don’t have to solve soon but it’s out there.  So I am sticking with my preference to be told.  Silence stinks. 

Gonna take time

Tuesday, July 22, 2014
8:48am
Good morning Philip!  Had a fantastic day at Lake W yesterday – see too many photo on my wall.   Hope you have a terrific Tuesday!

8:50am 
I enjoyed the lake – cruised on the mail boat!  And the food.

But I had too much time to think and saw too many things that reminded me of Kris, so that was tough.  And I couldn’t keep from comparing the day with Hubby vs. Kris… *sigh.  Ah well… I’ll get over it… just need some time.  Mwah!

9:02am Phil 

I know. Easier said than done. It’s hard. Time helps but it’s gonna take time. Enjoy the day!

1:12pm
Took Mom on a drive out into the countryside.  We’re having lunch at the Red Raven Gastropub in Acton!  The food is strange and expensive, but the view of the Nagog Pond is beautiful.

My groovy bacon cheeseburger 
with a bunch of stuff I took off before eating it!

Lake W Day

Monday, July 21, 2014
[from my private journal]
10:34 pm – Lake W Day
Hubby and I drove up to Lake Winnipesaukee today!  
We got on the road about 8:30 am.  It was a perfect weather-wise!  There was very little traffic on 93. I ate red seedless grapes as we rolled along. 
Breakfast
We decided to take the scenic route along Rte 11 from Alton Bay, got a little lost making it there from 93.  We made it to Laconia in less than 2.5 hours and walked right in at Kitchen Cravings in Gilford at 11:30 am.  We had a 2-top in the middle of the dining room.  Hubby had the beef burrito – huge!  I ordered The Trainer – 1 egg over easy, 1 slice of French toast, one slice of bacon and one sausage.  I had a side of kielbasa and I also shared a unicycle – the cinnamon bun flattened, dipped in french toast batter and fried.  Washed down with fresh OJ and a hot chocolate – it was divine!  If you’re ever anywhere near Laconia, be sure to stop in – everything is amazingly delicious and inexpensive!  Take a jacket – this is the coldest spot around.  I don’t usually notice a/c, but it was about 60 degrees in there! 
Weirs Beach
We rolled over the Weirs Beach Boardwalk.  I got my right hand henna’d.  A young black woman painstakingly drew a free-hand design of circles and vines and dots.  Hubby got into the spirit and had the “Firefly” Serenity Chinese characters painted on his hand!  We checked out the “2 for $10” t-shirt shop but didn’t find anything, 
A Cruise 
We got on the 2-hour U.S. Mail boat Sophie C boat cruise.  It was a delightful guided tour of the lake with stops at several islands.  It was like visiting a bunch of little towns and having the locals come out to meet you – people gather at the dock to get their mail and buy ice cream off the boat!  We forgot to re-feed the meter before we got on the boat, but we didn’t get a ticket!  
Kellerhaus
We drove to Kellerhaus, the amazing ice cream, candy and gifts shop.  We were very moderate, only buying a few chocolates and hard candy.  I resisted the display of Grumpy Cat paraphernalia at the front door.  
View of Lake Winnipesaukee from the second floor deck 
of the Town Docks Restaurant, Meredith, NH

Hot-buttered lobster roll with onion rings, watermelon slice, 
then Hubby’s plate of steak tips kabob, roasted potatoes and corn on the cob 
at the Town Docks Restaurant, Meredith, NH
Early supper
We made our way to Meredith for an early supper at the Town Docks Restaurant.  We sat on their second floor deck in the shade near the door with an amazing view of Lake Winnipesaukee!   I ate some of Hubby’s lobster corn chowder.  I had clam chowder.  We shared the corn fritters with remoulade sauce.  He had the steak tips kebab.  He gave me half his corn on the cob and his watermelon slice.  I had the hot buttered lobster roll with onion rings.  I ate the sweet fresh lobster claw meat dipped in butter, but not the roll.  This was the first place there was wifi all day, so I checked in on Facebook and uploaded a bunch of photos.  You can see them on Google+ 
Heading home
We set off for home down I-93 about 6 pm and made it in about 2.5 hrs, with a brief stop at the Hookset visitors center.

So we’re home safe and sound and amazingly refreshed after 12 hours away!  

Saw it coming

Monday, July 21, 2014
6:57am Phil 
It’s not gonna help. The damage is done and can’t be undone. She will never take him back. Just my feel on things. I’m sorry but I saw it coming out that way once he was caught.

The church friends may turn their back too. I have not found a lot of forgiveness and compassion from church friends. Just self righteousness and judgement. Got the same from pastors. Ah well. I’m sorry

7:37am 
Good morning!  I agree but he has to try. And if it doesn’t work he’ll find another good Christian woman to marry.  I’m off to Lake Winnipesaukee with Hubby.  Have a great Monday!

7:49am Phil 

Enjoy your day! He’s going to find the same issues with the next good Christian woman, no fun, uptight, conservative. Not that you have to be any of those things to be a Christian or love God but seems to be the trend. I guess good Christian women don’t flash their tits on the back of a Harley. Shame too. 

Enjoy the lake! I’m working at home with a shit ton of admin to get done!

Meet #26 Mount Washington – Up and Down

Sunday, July 20, 2014
Kris called this morning to ask if I would go on a long drive with him.  I told him Hubby and I planned to go to dim sum at my favorite place at 11:30 am and he was welcome to join in or pick me up there around 12:30 pm.  He said he’d join in!  I told him we’d order and he could show up whenever.  He appeared at 12 noon and shared with Hubby and me!  I was afraid it would all be too spicy and strange, but he tasted each dish and liked it all!  
Crab rangoons, small pork steamer buns, crueller, 
suan la chow show, shumai, and peking ravioli
Then he gave me a fantastic adventure to the top of Mt Washington, and a delicious Thai dinner!  
Mount Washington
We drove through the NH mountains for about 4 hours, talking intensely about what he planned to do and his best memories of being with me.  He asked questions about why I did various things along the way.  He is such an analyzer!  I knew what this was probably leading up to, but decided to not think about that, just enjoy the day until it became clearer.  
We made a pit stop at the Dunkin Donuts near Waterville Valley, then we went on to the Auto Road up to the summit of Mount Washington, the highest peak in New England.
 They are not kidding.  Okay, maybe a little.
 Good thing I brought a jacket! 
 A hint of the vistas ahead
He drove an hour straight up the 8 milesI found the ride up rather frightening, as he went really fast around the curves and there are no guardrails… my mind played tricks on me as we got to higher elevations, imagining careening off the edge into a ravine!  I’ve never had that problem before.  I took a bunch of deep breaths and he kidded me about having a orgasm.  Ha.  
You have the climb the last part to the top.  
We walked around the summit for an hour, taking in the stunning view of the mountains and lakes of New Hampshire, and exploring the buildings.  There is a big deck where you can see out all over – the view is spectacular! I watched the cog railway chugging up the track and down again, and went to see the weather observatory.   
 The view from the deck.  
 Weather observation instruments 
 The cog railway headed down the mountain. 
 The little hotel at the top. 
Yowza.  Glad we were here in July! 
We left at 6:47 pm (when they ask people to start down no later than 6:45 pm) and got to the bottom about 7:30 pm.  We had to go slowly and stop several times because his brakes were smoking.  
 The view on our way down
 A babbling brook [38-second video]
 The Auto Road
 The view of the valley – the hotel across from the main gate
The hotel across from the main gate 
Dinner 
We drove along into North Conway.  We tried one restaurant but they had a 45 minute wait.  We didn’t have time for that.  We rolled on to a lovely Thai restaurant that served up a fast, cheap and good meal. 
 Thai iced tea
 Tom Kar Gui (chicken coconut soup) 
 Fresh scallops sauteed with vegetables
 and brown rice
 Summer rolls 
with peanut sauce 
Chicken satay 
with peanut sauce and cucumber sauce
He was very good at trying new dishes!  We left there at 9 pm. 
Driving home
We had a marvelous conversation, and I sang for him – hymns, Broadway musicals, pop songs!  He sang along on the ones he knew.  He has a beautiful voice!  I wondered why we haven’t sung together before?!  He filled me in on different periods in his past I had not heard about before.  
He brought me home, arriving right at midnight. 
You can see all 39 of my photos, though they don’t begin to capture the majesty of the scenery. 
Goodbye
About an hour from home, he launched into an obviously planned speech.  He said he is going to confess to three male friends at church and ask them to help him walk the right path and get his wife back.  He said he can’t do that and keep seeing me and lie to them.  I told him I understood.  He was keeping his promise to say goodbye to me in person.  It is much better than silence and wondering, but man was it tough to listen to that!  
I did my best to keep from crying and if he had let me out of the car immediately upon pulling up in front of my house, I would’ve been successful.  But he went on thanking me and stroking my hand and… I lost it.  I tried to hide it, but he noticed pretty quickly and hugged me.  
He helped me out of the car.  He said good bye.  I said thank you.  I asked him to let me know how things go, maybe the first of every month or whenever something big happens.  He hugged me one more time, very tightly.  It felt final.  *sigh.  I took a deep breath and walked away.  I didn’t look back. 
So… he says it is over.  I feel like someone is yanking a great book out of my hands part way through and I will never know how it turns out!  Argh!
26 meets. 
107 days.  
3 months, 16 days.

Nothing like being up at the top of the highest peak and down in the depths within a few hours.  Ugh.

The right path

Sunday, July 20, 2014
8:13am
Good morning!   Here’s to a sunny Sunday!

8:19am Phil 

You too!

Loved the doggie video, thank you

9:34am Phil 
[PHOTO of him smiling showing off his beautiful naked shoulders and chest]
9:36am
Mmmm… shoulders.  
10:23am 
Kris just called… he wants to take me to the White Mts today!  
Fickle boy… so one more chance to be with him.  Yipppeee!

11:12am Phil 
Cool, pretty up there
Take what you can get!

12:58am

Kris shared dim sum this morning with Hubby and me at my favorite Chinese place

Crab rangoons, peking ravioli, small steamer buns, suan la chow show, 
crueller and shrimp shumai at Mary Chung’s

He gave me a fantastic adventure to the top of Mt Washington, and a delicious Thai dinner.

We talked a lot as he drove.  He says he is going to confess to three male church friends and ask them to help him walk the right path and get his wife back.  He says he can’t do that and keep seeing me and lie to them.

Then he said good bye.  I said thank you.  I asked him to let me know how things go, maybe the first of every month or whenever something big happens.  He hugged me.  It feels very final.  *sigh.