Monthly Archives: June 2015

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Beer and tequila

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

8:01am Phil 

Had a wonderful evening of beer and tequila on the beach. 
Have a great day Sass!

 8:16am

Good morning!  I adored those photos – looked like a perfect Philip night!

8:19am Phil 

It certainly was!

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Spelling Discreet

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Me: Good morning! Remember – no matter what anyone says – I think You’re a good man! 7:53 AM
Kris: Thank you, means a lot. Hope things settle down and we can push the “resume” button soon. Hope your first day back is a good one (or at a minimum…not a bad one). 8:04 AM
Me: Good to know you still want me. 8:07 AM
Kris: Why wouldn’t I? Need to put out some fires and be much more “discreet” and careful going forward. U didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a grown up – taking risks I choose to. If it weren’t u it MIGHT be someone else. I say “might” because skinny old Santas aren’t exactly a “hot commodity” in the EMR world (sorry, no quarters for just telling the simple truth. 😉 8:15 AM
Me: Hmmm… I get wet when you spell discreet correctly! 8:29 AM
Kris: You’re so funny! 8:39 AM
Me: And I taste good too! 9:49 AM
Kris: I’m buying a truck from a friend to pull the boat – we can go all the time now. Let’s go to Lake W next. When u wanna go? REALLY naughty Spanky. 😉 9:53 AM 
Me: Wow! What kind of truck? 9:56 AM
Kris: like first one we used…but with extended cab in back for passengers. Smaller than truck we just used, but big enough to pull boat. and he’s willing to finance it… 300/month with interest. Wheelin’ Dealin’ Kris. (EVIL GRIN!) 10:07 AM
Kris: And you DO taste good. v-juice especially yummy – always sweet and clean. mmmmmm! 10:24 AM
Me: Awww… thanks! You taste delicious also… your lips, your ears, nipples, hip, and that amazing cock! 10:29 AM
Kris: Ditto…(minus cock, thank God! not “bi”) lol! 10:33 AM
Me: Have you ever had a man-crush? 10:40 AM
Kris: NOOOOO!!!! Women ONLY…and plan to keep it that way! 3 holes are better than two (yuck). Nuthin gainst gays…but the thought of being with a guy is yucky to any straight guy. Anyone tells u different is lying…don’t care how “liberal” they may be. 10:51 AM
Me: I had a girl crush, tried to act on it but didn’t find it appealing in reality. I hope someday, gender won’t matter… you’ll look at the whole person and not their equipment. I know that’s radical. 10:53 AM
Kris: Exactly! People talk…imagine, but actually DOING? whole other ball game. (Remember when u asked if I was just a “chaser”? SURE! TO CATCH!) I like DIFFERENT…. including male versus female! Not trading big luscious Sassy tits for some guy’s ANYTHING (yuck!). Straight Spanky 11:18 AM
Me: But when I was in a foursome, I had to let go of keeping track of whose hand or whose mouth, just enjoy! 12:13 PM
Kris: You were young and didn’t know any better… 😉 12:15 PM
Me: I like you. 12:17 PM
Kris: Or if u didn’t know who it was…u could do what u do with me – pretend it was whoever u wanted it to ne! Brat Kris. ;)12:18 PM
Me: Do you do that with me? 12:21 PM
Kris: Omg…really? pee with the door open? 12:26 PM
Me: Thinking of you… hope you’re having a calm evening. 10:57 PM
=====
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2014 11:06 PM
Subject: Birthday wishes
Hiya Kris!
I was looking over your list of requests for your birthday.  We did pretty well! 
‎ 1) Spend the nite with me at my house
Yes
 2) Let me take you for a short, gentle ride on a quiet country road when you spend the nite with me at my house
No
‎ 3) Have lunch with you and your mom
Yes.  You charmed her!  It went so well!   
 4) Buy me that coffee cup you sent me a picture of
Two! 
5) Show me where you work
Still to do. Will keep an eye out for the right moment. 
‎ 6) Invite me to a project sometime
Nothing until late August, so yes but not for your birthday 
 7) Go boating and to your fav places around Gloucester–combined with spending the nite with me at my house
This was such a wonderful trip!  
 8) Tell me a restaurant you haven’t tried yet….that we could go to together
Sure.  Thinking about where… I would like to go back to Finale for their food.  I was impressed by them! 
 9) Give me a BJ in my boat (random request–based on “inspiration from your chat buddies”)
Hmm…. tricky but I am game!  You need to stop somewhere!  
10) Have 20 orgasms the next time we have sex
We’ll see.  🙂  I lose track at about 9, so you’d have to count. 🙂
So… lots of fun, still some fun ones “to do!” 
5) Show me where you work
6) Invite me to a project event sometime
8) Tell me a restaurant you haven’t tried yet…
10) Have 20 orgasms the next time we have sex
Thank you ever so much for letting me celebrate with you! 
-S
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Kris: I’ve been thinking of you too…all day. Worked late, then had to bring truck to be repaired, then to shed to get bike. Just got home. Wanted to chat. Wanted to answer last question you asked (well, not really but will…cuz we have a ” deal” and you’re “unflappable”). 😉 
11:29 PM
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Instacart

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
7:43am
Good morning!   Yesterday was CALM!  Thank goodness.   
I had enough drama Sunday to last me at least a year!

11:20pm
I may never go to a grocery store again!  You know how I hate shopping.  I found a grocery delivery service – they’re offering free delivery to new customers and it’s only $3.99 after that. The web site is easy – lots of stores to choose from (Shaw’s, Market Basket, Whole Foods, Harvest Co-op and Costco), lots of products (or you can type in others), then a very personable personal shopper goes and brings it to you within a couple of hours. What a concept!  I’ve tried Peapod and Roche Brothers but they’re both next day and that never seems to work with my schedule.   This may be really useful for events at work too.

It’s a huge time saver!  I can say “load in what I bought last time,” tweak it and hit send!

So instead of touching groceries six times and lugging them around (into the cart, onto the conveyor, into bags, into the car, out of the car, into the house), they put them in my kitchen and I put them away!  You should see if they have them in your area.

https://www.instacart.com



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Scarlet letters

Monday, June 23, 2014
Me: Good morning hot stuff! 8:39 AM
Kris: Good morning! 9:23 AM
Kris: Have some fun for me today. mine is fun-filled with text threats, bitching, fighting.(I know u can’t imagine why). ANOTHER way you’re “different”. 😉 1:53 PM
Me: I am thinking of you, sending sweet, calming vibes! At the bank with Mom! Mwah! 2:03 PM
Kris: Thanks! Oh…here’s a random thought that fits right in with your current “mundane” 😉 activities – getting an occasional bj isn’t different. getting good ones so regularly with someone who seems to LIKE giving them IS! 🙂 2:06 PM
Kris: B sure to tell the truth when mom asks what you’re giggling at. “good girl”. Alfalfa 2:07 PM
Me: Now we’re eating Taiwanese food! Wish you were sitting opposite us! 2:27 PM
Me: Having fun at Walgreens now! Looking at band aids, hoping your head is okay. 3:08 PM
Kris: You’re getting bad as me…with minute by minute “mundane” updates…but love it. head’s ok – long shallow scrape – took bandaid off. just adds to decorations on Santa’s chrome dome (people r so complimentary lately…can hardly stand it). ;). !!! 4:24 PM
Me: Part of me says I should be quiet, let you focus on other things. Other part wants you to know I’m thinking of you, wishing you well, maybe make you smilie! 4:27 PM
Kris: I’m ok….dealing….don’t need to be quiet….or give me more than usual (wonderful!). I’ll let u know if i need something special or different. But for now just be your usual “Sassy Self”. Including not replying right away to every text–especially from work (sorry for reminding). Enjoy rest of day! 4:35 PM
Me: Looking at the photos from yesterday… so many good views! Feel so lucky to have seen Wingaersheek from the other side! 5:23 PM
Kris: Glad you enjoyed! Happy to give u at least SOME kind of pleasure! (Pay u a quarter later.). 😉 5:29 PM
Me: I’m headed out to the “intersection with fast food.” Picking up crap from KFC, then taco Bell, then Wendy’s!” Whee! 7:56 PM
Kris: Last message may be too long, may need to email. Ends in: “(And YOU can FUCK me ANY TIME YOU LIKE!!!).”. IF you didn’t’ get it let me know. I’ll email it. “Highly-entertaining”. Mwah! 8:27 PM
Me: Back with lots of bad food! I didn’t get your long message but it sounds intriguing! 8:48 PM
======
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 9:16 PM
Subject: Infidelity essay
Here’s that essay I mentioned.  
[from the blog “Prowling with Kat” http://prowlingwithkat.com/infidelity/]
Infidelity
———-
I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately.  Unfaithfulness. Infidelity.
Essentially, it means not keeping your promise, and it has come to be used almost exclusively with the act of not maintaining sexual fidelity.
Marriages split up because one spouse had sex with someone outside the marriage. It has come to the point where it is almost the single most valued thing in a marriage. “I can put up with anything as long as he doesn’t cheat on me.”  Really?
I’ve been told many times that if I’m going to cheat, I should just end it, as if sexual fidelity is all there is and if you don’t have that you have nothing. That’s just bullshit.
A long term marriage is a very complicated thing. It involves being with someone day in and day out, often while raising children, and doing your best to support, not squash, each other’s hopes and dreams.  It involves sickness and puke and seeing your partner in the most physically unattractive ways and still trying to maintain a sexual attraction. It involves a massive amount of forgiveness and humility. And love. Especially love.
I’ve shared with you before that my marriage vows were rather unconventional and didn’t include most of the typical language of marriage vows, but the point was the same. I promised to be his partner in life, no matter what. That’s it in a nutshell. I promised that nothing would ever make me walk away from him. Nothing means nothing. I promised to be in it for the long haul – in sickness, health, good times, bad times.While our vows didn’t include a sexual fidelity component, most do, and it was pretty much understood in ours.  We just didn’t say it.
The core of my commitment – and his – was that we would stay together no matter what. I would consider my husband truly unfaithful if he walked way from the marriage.  Anything short of that may fall under the “sickness, worst of times, or poorer” part, but it’s certainly not cause to leave the marriage.
A word to my divorced friends….I’m not judging you.  To make a long term marriage work,both people must be fully committed and do their part to make the marriage work. If one party has checked out there’s often nothing the other can do.
For those of you thinking, “What about abusive relationships?” I’ll admit that my “no matter what” promise has two conditions – physically abusing me or abusing our children in ANY way. In those cases, I would leave immediately, but I can’t say what would happen in the long run.  I’ve seen many families recover from such awful situations.  Each has to judge for him/herself.
But I digress…..again.  What I’m trying to say is that sexual infidelity does not erase years of fidelity to all the other promises. My husband has been with many other women during our marriage, and I didn’t know about it until fairly recently. Should that outweigh everything he’s done to honor our marriage over the past 27 years? Of course not. He’s been my partner through thick and thin for a long, long time.  He’s the father of my children.  So what if he likes to fuck younger women?  If it were a problem for me, we’d have to deal with that, but if it were so much of a problem that I’d throw everything away because of it, I’d be an idiot.
The opposite is also true.  If he was so twisted up over me having sexual encounters with other men that he couldn’t see all the good in our relationship, he’d be an idiot.  But he can see beyond it.  He doesn’t like it, and it was very upsetting for him when he first discovered it, but it’s not going to destroy the marriage. Our marriage is about much, much more than sex. Most married couples understand that, but then they turn bat shit crazy over a single incident of cheating. It’s illogical and shortsighted.
Let’s look at it from another angle. If a marriage is reasonably good in most respects (or even if it isn’t right now, but you believe in staying together no matter what), but the sex life is dead and there is nothing you can do to revive it, is it so bad to have those needs met elsewhere?  Obviously, I don’t think so, but I am aware that I am in a minority. Does it make any sense at all to let sexual dysfunction or the lack of marital sex cause the downfall of the whole relationship?  Not to me.
I’m not saying that all marriages should be open relationships, but it’s silly to let lack of sex poison things. It’s just one piece of the marital relationship, after all.
Yes, I do think that the best case scenario is to have a healthy intimacy with your spouse that includes an awesome and ever-exciting sex life. If you’ve been married over 20 years and you have that and neither of you has cheated, God bless you. You have life’s golden ticket.  Don’t take it for granted.
If you’re unmarried, or if you’ve been married for less than 18-20 years, you need to stop pushing morality that you can’t possibly understand onto other people. I often wonder how many marriages split up because one spouse cheats and the other is pushed and prodded into divorce by well meaning friends and family members who don’t truly understand the value of a long term loving, albeit imperfect, relationship with another human being.
Too often, we try to make very complex things simpler by narrowing them down to a few simple rules. That’s what has happened with marriage and infidelity. Unfortunately, no matter how much you try to make it simpler, marriage isn’t so easily “managed,” neither is anything truly valuable in life.
If someone were to ask me if my husband has been faithful to me over these past 27 years, my answer would be, “In almost every way, and certainly in all the ways that really matter. I’m a very fortunate woman.” His answer would be the same.
=====
From: Kris
To: Sassy
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 9:49 PM
Re: Infidelity essay
Hi Sassy,
Interesting essay. Agree with some parts–not all.  Think there’s a little “rationalizing” in there at points–but get it in general. 
Here’s what I wrote in a text to you earlier tonight (that was too long to be delivered apparently):
Wife texted that she “wants to talk” which means she’s still highly pissed but may be slowly calming down.  She has talked to kids to get them on her side, has talked to people she works with (cuz she’s a “boundary-less”, senseless idiot when she’s either highly-anxious or very enraged–which right now she’s both–at different times), has talked to numerous friends, has talked to the senior pastor of the church we attend…because I bought a bike! Whee. 🙂 what fun!   
Why don’t we just bring back public humiliation in the town square?  Instead of a scarlet letter “A” (which would also actually fit me), I’d wear the scarlet letters “LB-HD” (“lying, bike-hiding deceiver”).  Small children walking by with their mothers could deride me and throw things at me.  Their mothers could use me as an object lesson to scare them into behaving. “See that man over there, Johnny?  If you don’t want to end up like him you’d better always tell the truth and never lie or hide anything.” LOL!!!!   This may sound bizarre to you–sweet, gentle, respectful “Sassy”–but her saying she “wants to talk” means the beginning of negotiating peace.  
(I hear you humming with lusty pleasure as you chomp on that fast food! LOL!)   I’m back on black coffee–AND MY BIKE!   FUCK ‘EM IF THEY CAN’T TAKE A JOKE!  (And YOU can FUCK me ANYTIME YOU LIKE!)
Well, I  thought the above was funny.  You may not.  I’ve got a twisted sense of humor.
Anyhow—I think I need to take your advice and close this Yahoo email address and Yahoo messenger– and open some under new names.  Any advice about how to do it so that no traces are left anywhere?
Crazy Kris  
=====
From: Sassy
To: Kris
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2014 11:04 PM
Subject: Re: Infidelity essay
Hiya Kris! 
Thank you for writing.  It is fascinating to see inside your head for awhile.  I do get the humor and the sadness and your free spirit! 
Reading that infidelity post helps crystalize what I think in which parts I agree or disagree.  And know that I am not alone in dealing with these issues. 
I’m so glad your W is ready to talk and there might be some peace for you. I hope you can have a productive talk… that she might listen, or give you clues on how to resolve it.  I think you have a right to complain about her blabbing to everyone.  I am surprised she would want everyone to know she is married to an ass (in her opinion).  I’ve gotten more and more private as I get older.  I can not imagine bitching about Hubby to my family. They already think poorly of him.  Don’t want to exacerbate the situation.  I consider keeping his secrets to be one of my main wifely duties!  Hubby’s trick is to mouth off on Facebook.  I told him once not to do that with our personal business, when he posted something way too private about my breast cancer treatment, and he has not done it again. 
Do you like going to church? I’d certainly consider it a good excuse never to go back if she told the senior pastor that you… OMG… bought
a motorcycle!!  What was the pastor’s advice, I wonder?  
Thank you again for not confessing, for not outing me.  The wisdom in the EMR world is “Deny, deny, deny.”  The less said the better?
Here’s a link to an article on getting rid of a Yahoo account.  If it were me, I’d 
1) Set up a new one.  
2) Forward anything you want to keep (not much) to it.  
3) Delete the emails in the inbox, drafts, sent messages, any folders.  
4) Delete all the chats. 
5) Then all the trash. 
6) Do what it says here –
You may want to consider other free email services such as Gmail, hotmail, etc. if she is using Yahoo so your logins don’t mingle with hers.  
Another thing we might do is to share an account and leave messages in the drafts folder, just text a code word when there is a new one to read, then delete them at regular intervals.  No inbox or sent mail or contacts to be found. 
Just tossing out ideas… I can help with whatever appeals.  I would assume she is going to get on your computer and your phone the first chance she gets – clean them up!  Don’t leave them logged on, unguarded when you are say… in the shower or bathroom.  
I’d better get to bed. Take care dear man.  Your different gal is here waiting.
-S

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Fun while working

Monday, June 23, 2014
6:20am Phil 
Hope everything worked out ok last night

7:57am

Good morning kid. He brought me home at 2 am. 
Where I found Hubby’s gf!  He took her home.  
What a weird night!  
Thanks again for listening!

7:57pm Phil 

Geez. What a nite

7:58pm 

You full of beer and brats?
7:59pm Phil 
Yup!
[mouthwatering photo of German food – brats, potato salad, sauerkraut!]
 7:59pm Phil
[photo of him toasting me with a big beer sitting outside at a restaurant]
8:56pm
Oh my!  Looks so delicious!  (and the food looks good too) 
8:57pm Phil 
[photo of him with a co-worker at the restaurant]
8:58pm Phil 
Ha, you kill me. 
Trying to have some fun while working

9:25pm

I believe that is not allowed! 
9:28pm Phil 
That’s what they tell me. Fuck em

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Meet #16 WTF x 11

Sunday, June 22, 2014
Okay.  Well.  See… it started off well.  This is what the Chinese would call… “an interesting day.” 
A. The 4 am man
I was dreaming a very sweet sexy dream and some nice man was rubbing my breast above the nipple and I suddenly realized it was not a dream!  Kris was wedging himself under me, already  hard and ready to plunge inside me!  I glanced at the clock radio… 4:03 am.  Wow… he is really living his fantasy!  He slowly filled me, groping my breast and kissing my shoulder as he pumped in and out.  Mmm…. I enjoyed this way to wake up!  He came hard pretty quickly then drifted off to sleep again.  I watched him sleep.  He was smiling. 
A1. The wake-up BJ
I woke Kris up the right way with a Sassy blow job!  He said he’s usually not a morning sex person, because he is distracted about whatever he has to do that day and anxious to get going, but I managed to wake him up gently, touching him under the covers until he was conscious, then sucking him down my throat until he forgot to worry about what he had to do today.  He came hard!  
B. The boat 
He said the one danger point was about 10:45 am because his wife was leaving work to go to church and might swing by their house afterwards.  So we have to leave by 10:30 am.  He went out about 10 am to check on the boat.  It wouldn’t start!  WTF?  So he drove to church to get the jump cables out of his wife’s car.  But they weren’t there.  So he went to the neighbors to borrow theirs.  And got back at 10:40 am.  
C. The closet
Two minutes later, I was sitting in the dining room on my computer when he yelled, “GET TO THE CLOSET!”  WTF?
I grabbed all my stuff – computer, bag, hat, purse, and ran upstairs and squeezed myself into the back of the closet and shut the door.  I texted with a chat friend and tried not to sneeze. I also texted Philip, who was driving and laughing his ass off at me.  
D. The banshee
I listened to her scream at him for ten minutes solid.  WTF?  I know I am odd that Hubby and I don’t fight, but it was bizarre to hear her rail at him on and on… he’s got to sell that fucking motorcycle, why did he move the table on the porch, he has to get a haircut! If he lied to her about the motorcycle, what else is he capable of?  Is he drinking again?  Is he having an affair?  *sigh  
Luckily he led her outside to look at their garden after about 10 minutes, and she only stayed about 20 minutes.  He came up to the closet to tell me she was gone.  I half wanted to laugh and half cry.  
We talked quietly, waiting for the adrenaline rush to subside.  The worst moment came when he asked me if I was okay and I told him it was very hard to listen to her yell at him.  And he said… “Was she yelling?  I didn’t notice.”  *sigh  You know what that means?  It’s normal.  So routine that he doesn’t notice.  No wonder he finds me so different.  *sigh
He gave me a hand out of the closet and I gave him a big hug.  We headed out on our adventure. 
E. The propeller
So he drove the truck and the boat to the boat launch in Essex.  He unhooked it from the truck and… managed to gouge his head on the propeller!  A 4-inch scrape!  WTF?  
He borrowed band aids from another boat, and I made a bandage out of a paper towel and patched him up!  He said it didn’t hurt.  I worried about it getting infected.  He put his baseball cap over it and no one was the wiser. 
F. The trailer 
When he launched the boat into the river, the wooden runners that hold it on the trailer came off with it!  He wouldn’t be able to get the boat back out.  WTF? 
He chatted with a couple people along the docks, and ended up taking the trailed to the marina next door.  I sat in the boat at the dock, wondering if he’d be able to get help and how long it would take and whether this day was cursed!  Would we ever get away down river? 
He returned very quickly!  He said a guy at the marina stopped working on his boat, put on new runners and didn’t charge him!  He was back in 15 minutes! 
G. The beautiful water 
We had a marvelous five-hour adventure on the water!   We went down the Essex River, out into the ocean, along Wingaersheek Beach were I walked last week, down the Annisquam River and into Gloucester Harbor!  It is so wonderful to see places from the water side that I’ve been on land, ogle the boats and people and scenery… munch on grapes and sandwiches… and relax.  He takes such good care of me!  
Here are my 35 photos. Pop over to Google Plus to look. https://plus.google.com/u/0/photos/101174762249697322833/albums/6027979900927526257
Here’s my favorite: 
The Annisquam lighthouse you can see
 from Wingaersheek Beach, Gloucester MA
H. Dinner 
We got back just as the sun set.  He hauled the boat out, covered it and drove over to the famous Woodman’s seafood restaurant.  They invented fried clams.  There’s usually a big line but there were only about 6 people ahead of us to order from the counter.  We shared a clam chowder, clam cakes and a fisherman’s fried platter of shrimp, scallops, clams and fish with onion rings.  I was not impressed but it was okay.  He left the table for 10 minutes while I waited for the food, so his wife could scream at him on the phone.  He looked defeated when he returned, picked at the food.  I held his hand and he smiled. 
I. The chase
We drove back to his house and… his wife was there.  He parked about 100 feet past the driveway to figure out what to do.  Of course, at that moment, she drove out.  I ducked down.  He took off.  She followed us, honking her horn and flashing her lights.  She finally pulled up beside him and screamed for him to pullover.  He turned off onto the highway going 80 mph and she didn’t follow.  I have never wanted to be invisible so hard in my life.  WF?!
J. The refuge 
He dropped me off at an Applebee’s at 11 pm.  They’re open until midnight.  I sat texting a chat friend and Philip, pretending to eat a pasta dish, wondering what I’d do if Kris couldn’t get back to get me. I wondered what was going on at his house.  Would I ever see him again? 
The young male waiter was very kind to me, told me I could stay until 1 am while they cleaned and closed up if need be.  I ordered a tiny dessert parfait.  Chocolate is a comfort!  The waiter sat and talked to me for awhile.  I left him a big tip.  
At 11:55 pm, Kris texted that he was on his way!  
Kris: Coming to get you 11:55 PM
Me: Yay! 11:56 PM
Kris: Be there in 15 minutes…hang tight….might have to wait out front 12:00 AM
Me: They will let me sit here until 12:30ish, so no worries 12:01 AM
He appeared at 12:30 am.  I met him in the parking lot.  He got out to show me the back of the truck. 
K. The tailgate
Something had happened to the tailgate of the truck he had borrowed to tow the boat!  He couldn’t figure it out – it looked like a tree had fallen on the top – big gash and now the tailgate wouldn’t close.  WTF?!  
He was mystified.  I wondered if the boat had hit it.  Or his wife’s car.  He said he knows how to find parts at a junkyard and replace it.  Just one more WTF, bad luck moment. 
L. The locked gate
Kris brought my stuff from his house.  I confirmed that going home was the best idea if he could stay awake to drive.  We went to park the truck and get his car at the storage facility.  The 12-foot high entrance fence gate was malfunctioning, so he had to climb over it to open the gate.  WTF?!  By this point, I was hardly surprised. 
M. Heading home 
So we left NH at 1:05 am, got to my place at 2:10 am.  Whee!  He was quiet for awhile, then I made him laugh and he told me about his wife calling him to scream and telling her lies. I suggested he be very good for awhile – focus on her, be where he is supposed to be, do things to get on her good side.  I also suggested he clean up his electronic life – delete all my texts, ditch his AM account and Yahoo mischief email, clear his bookmarks.  
N. The stranger 
As we rode along, I got a series of odd texts on Sassy’s Google Voice number from a CA number, from someone named James.  I don’t know anyone in CA named James. I realized it was a stranger visiting Boston.  He said a guy in a bar gave him my number!  WTF?! WHO IS GIVING OUT SASSY’s Google voice number?!  He told me a first name that could be one of three AM men I’ve met.  Ugh. I wonder if he gave it to anyone else? Argh.  
Unknown: hey gurl 1:58 AM
Unknown: What time is it 1:59 AM
Me: Hiya. What’s up? 1:59 AM
Me: 2 am 1:59 AM
Unknown: heard good things. wanna meet up for a soda. 2:00 AM
Me: Good things? 2:01 AM
Unknown: you know it. that’s why I’m txtin! 2:02 AM
Unknown: how’s all this work. good friend referred me. 2:02 AM
Me: oh? 2:03 AM
Unknown: sassy girl right? 2:03 AM
Unknown: sorry it’s late. been up since 4AM yesterday 2:04 AM
Me: Who sent you? 2:05 AM
Unknown: Steven I think. I’ve had a bit, I town for work and was having drinks at cheers and the guy next to me gave me your # 2:08 AM
Unknown: older guy 2:08 AM
Unknown: local 2:08 AM
Me: Sadly I’m off the circuit these days but thanks for reaching out! Best of luck! 2:09 AM
Unknown: I’ll be at the commonwealth all week 2:10 AM
Unknown: ahh. okay, thank you. 2:10 AM
Unknown: Text me if things change 2:10 AM
Unknown: got another number for me? 2:20 AM
O. Hubby’s gf
I lugged my bags inside, set them on my desk and heard Hubby’s voice in the bedroom say, “You’re home?”  
“Yes…there was an episode with his wife so he brought me home,” I explained.    
“Well, my girlfriend is here. I should’ve told you she was coming over.”  
WTF?! 
“Oh!  So sorry… I should’ve told you I was on my way home.”  
I sank down into the chair at my desk and put my head in my hands.  There was some whispering, then he said he would take her home. I apologized to them both, and he apologized to me and… oh well!  Will this day never end?  I texted Kris. 
=====
Me: Just to top off this wild day – Hubby’s gf is here! 2:07 AM
Kris: Oops! 2:09 AM
Kris: Do u want to return to my house with me?  I’m not too far up the road…or had enough adventure for one day? 😉 2:13 AM
Me: Ha ha. Thanks but no. He took her home. 2:15 AM
Kris: Night! Mwah! 2:16 AM
Me: Oh – and those texts were from a businessman, a stranger, said some guy in a bar gave him my number. Eep! That’s new and scary! 2:16 AM
Kris: That IS strange! 2:22 AM
=====
P. Sleep 
I collapsed into bed at 3 am.  Hubby got back.  I thanked him, told him I’d explain tomorrow.
=====

So let’s recap the ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS that happened today: 
  1. The boat wouldn’t start
  2. Hiding in a closet 
  3. Listening to his wife scream at him 
  4. He gashed his head on a propeller 
  5. His boat trailer broke 
  6. A high speed chase with his wife which may signal the end of us
  7. Having to hang out at a restaurant alone, an hour from home, after it closed 
  8. The borrowed truck getting crunched
  9. The locked gate
  10. Strange texts because some guy gave out my phone number
  11. Hubby’s gf at our place
My list goes to 11!  HA!  Move over David Letterman… I’m into Spinal Tap territory!

I can’t believe all that happened on the same day.  That is the most bizarre part.  WTF? Any ONE of these would’ve made for a strange day but no… ELEVEN!  ELEVEN?  Yes… ELEVEN BIZARRE THINGS!!!!!!!!!!

And yet… we bounced back.  We soldiered on.  We had a lovely sexy time waking up and a fantastic time on the water in his boat and I got to try a new restaurant.  And… wow.  Just… wow.  There were some beautiful memories mixed with the horrific ones.   
Please don’t let me ever have another bizarre day like this one!
by

Hiding in the closet

Sunday, June 22, 2014
10:07am
Good morning from NH!  Another gorgeous day!  I woke Kris up the right way.   Hope it’s a lovely Sunday for you!
11:08am Phil 
Good morning! Awesome! Glad you are having a great weekend. Driving to the beach

11:12am 

Well…his W just showed up!  They let her out to go to church and she stopped by.
I am hiding in the closet!!!!
11:15am Phil 
That’s funny as hell!

11:15am
Arrgh!
Thank goodness I had cleaned up and stowed all my stuff

11:17am Phil 
I am literally laughing my ass off
been bad with toys everywhere

11:18am 
don’t even think that! !

11:19am Phil 
I’m still laughing

11:19am
Yeah, bad luck that she arrived but he had a good plan 
and we were lucky it wasn’t worse
We had gone over where to go etc
Ugh. Never a dull moment with this guy!

11:21am Phil 

This stuff happens, at least you weren’t out on a window ledge

11:21am 

My mom liked him.  He charmed her at lunch yesterday. 
She told him “secrets” about me when I went to the bathroom!

11:22am Phil 

Always a good thing

11:23am
Thanks for listening.   Wife left and we’re off to the boat!

Oh… he told her about the Harley.  She was screaming at him. So hard to have to listen to that!

11:24am Phil 

Have fun! Oysters and beer for me
Great!!!!

11:26am

Yum.  I’m hoping for lobster tonight,  pull up to a river side place in Essex

11:27am Phil 
Awesome!  
I’m a simple boy. Oysters, some shrimp and a cold one on the beach
Enjoy the lobster!

=====

11:24pm 

I am such a mess.

11:29pm Phil 

What’s up?

11:30pm 
We had a wonderful day on his boat, then dinner, went to his place and…
 his wife was there!

11:31pm Phil 
Oh boy. Bad scene?

11:31pm 

He drove past and pulled over down the road.  
She drove out and saw him

11:32pm Phil 
You ok girl?

11:32pm
I’m alone at Applebee’s waiting for him

He drove off.  She followed him, beeping her horn
I ducked down

11:33pm Phil 

Does not sound like a good thing
11:33pm 
She pulled along side, screaming at him to pull over

11:34pm Phil 
Oh boy

11:35pm 

He sped up and lost her, high speed chase with the boat attached!
He dropped me off at the closest restaurant

11:36pm Phil 

At least you did not get caught in the middle of sex

11:36pm 

True!
11:36pm Phil 
That would have been bad

11:39pm 

Applebees closes at 12… 
not sure what to do if he doesn’t return by then

11:40pm Phil 
Where is your car?
Take a cab to your car

11:41pm

at home in Boston an hour away – I’m in NH… no cabs
I can call Hubby I guess

11:42pm Phil 
Oh shit
May be your only option

11:43pm

Ugh.  Why is there always a catch?

11:44pm Phil 

That’s life! What makes it interesting

11:51pm

Ha ha.  I hope this night gets dull soon!
The 25 year old waiter is hitting on me.  Sigh

12:01am Phil 

Just hope you get home ok

12:03am 

He just texted.  he is returning for me.
The waiter said I can stay for at least an hour while they clean up.
I may ask to go home.
Thanks kid.

12:04am Phil 

Awesome

12:04am 

Guys come and go, but you’re always here to listen! Whee!

12:05am Phil 

Good luck Sass

by

Meet #15 Lunch with Mom and his bed

Saturday, June 21, 2014 
Me: Good morning hot stuff! Happy Birthday! Up for some more firsts?! Mwah mwah mwah! 8:15 AM
Kris: Absolutely! W on war path but she’s stuck where she is, which pisses her off further. May have to b on phone with her a bit more than usual…if she doesn’t hang up which she did once this morning already. don’t want it to spoil our time but need to do some damage control. Thanks for “Happy B-Day”! 11:30 still good time? 8:31 AM
Me: 11:30 is good. May need to take Mom to bank first and it closes at 12:30 pm. I’m saving extra hugs for you. 8:36 AM
Kris: Thanks! 8:37 AM
Kris: After dropping a zillion nasty text bombs on me and refusing to answer phone (scared me)…W finally did. Starting to calm down. I may need to continue being “super nice and very available H” to maintain fire control. U can handle it…unflappable as u are. ;). Alfalfa (in pretty deep doo doo) 😉 9:10 AM
Me: Oh dear… not the best way to start your birthday! I hope I can make the rest of the day better! 9:52 AM
Kris: YOU WILL…FOR SURE!!!!! 9:55 AM
Kris: Don’t forget to bring your laptop…wouldn’t want u to miss anything. plus, unfortunately part of time I need to work – didn’t get everything done yesterday 10:20 AM
Kris: Insert wink after “anything” in previous text. ;). Spanky 10:21 AM
Kris: On my way eta 12. had to drop off something for W. keep peace. sorry 11:15 AM
Me: I’m all set – will see you out front 11:34 AM
Kris: K 11:35 AM
Kris: Here! 11:58 AM
Me: Omw 11:59 AM
Kris: What? 12:00 PM
Kris: I’m at parking lot entrance…..where meet? 12:01 PM
=====
Kris talked me into doing two wild things today: 
1) He went to lunch with mom and me!  
He picked me up at noon and drove me to her place.  He got out to meet her.  I said, “This is my friend, Kris.  Meet my mother, [her name].”  They shook hands and he helped her into his car.  We went to The Ninety-Nine Restaurant in Woburn.  He had dressed up – dress shirt, khaki dress pants, a black sweater – and was very polite.  I sat next to Mom and he sat across from us in a booth beside a window.  She didn’t ask anything about how we met.  Phew! 
He charmed her!  He told her things I didn’t know!  I was astonished he had not told me some of it before.  She was in good form.  She must’ve liked him – she told him “secrets” about me while I was in the bathroom, to make me look better to him, like the fact that I was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa in college.  Heh.  She paid for lunch. 
2) I went to his house in NH!  
We dropped Mom off and headed up to NH.  We stopped for him to change clothes at the Panera in Burlington, then stopped to get gas, then went to get the truck that will pull the boat tomorrow.  We made a grocery list as we drove along – I typed it into my gmail.  
Grocery list
Hamburger
Corn on the cob
Rolls
Tomato
Cucumber
Baby carrots
Hidden Valley Ranch salad dressing
Sliced Turkey
Swiss cheese slices
Bread
Water bottles
Fruit-Watermelon
Apples
Grapes
Plums
Chips
Paper towels
OJ gallon
Great Value D Calcium
We went to Walmart to stock up on groceries for dinner and lunch tomorrow on the boat.  
We stopped at TJ Maxx so he could get new swim trunks.  He’s lost a lot of weight since last summer! 
We went to his place!  He has a lovely modern home, surrounded by woods with a big open field.  I shared a pear with him.  I helped get supper ready – shucked corn, sliced cucumbers and tomatoes, put dishes in the dishwasher and washed some pots.  We had cheeseburgers he grilled outside with tomatoes, cucumbers,and corn on the cob.  We ate out on the deck.  It was a gorgeous summer night to sit out in the evening air.  
We cleared the table.  I did a few dishes.  I felt comfortable, at ease in his space.  
He showed me where I could hide if anyone showed up – a chair in an upstairs closet in the guest room that is mostly a storage area.  We put all my stuff in there too, just in case.  It was good to know where to go but it made me very aware of having to be on guard, and to watch what I touched and not leave anything in the wrong places.  
I sat at the dining room table with my laptop, surfing the net at usual.  He sat on the couch working.  He would take a break every now and then, come over to kiss me and rub my shoulders, then go back to it.  
He finally finished right at midnight.  He took my hand and led me upstairs to his bedroom.  It was at the corner of the house with a lovely breeze wafting in the windows. 
I went to put my glasses on the night stand, and moved hers.  Ugh.  I noticed a fine sheen of dust and realized anew how dangerous it was for me to be there!  I noted the position of everything, so I could put it back just so.  And tried not to disturb the dust.  I used a tissue then realized I could not throw it out in the wastebasket on her side of the bed… no way he was normally be over there.  I worried about leaving any hairs on the pillow or lower down in the bed!  Ugh… this was going to be a lot trickier than I had imagined.  I resolved to be super-duper careful, and not to go there again if at all possible. 
Then I tried to put all that aside, fulfill his fantasy and rock his world!  We started out slowly – he told me stories and rubbed my chest.  He played with my clit… BOOM!  I had two searing orgasms!  Whee!  
We were lying side-by-side facing each other, cuddling.  He pulled my leg over his hip and used his cock to play around my slit, then slid inside me and moved back and forth in the best possible way while we kissed.  Mmm…. he came long and hard, moaning dramatically.  
He was quiet for a bit then thanked me for helping him be “oh so bad.”  Heh.  I touched his face and he was smiling broadly.  He drifted off to sleep.  
I was really keyed up.  Between the sex and the tension at being there, I couldn’t sleep.  I stared out the window into the darkness and pondered many things.  I finally fell asleep about 2 am.
by

Older Ladies

Saturday, June 21, 2014
     
8:13am
Happy Summer!  Happy Anniversary!  Hope you have a fun day!

1:32pm
Great lunch with Mom and Kris

Fried chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and buttered corn 
at The Ninety Nine 

5:44pm 
Here’s a fun song for a laugh!  
https://www.youtube.com/embed/O4QzHeUE-CM?feature=player_embedded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4QzHeUE-CM

Older Ladies 
by Donnalou Stevens
Well, I ain’t 16, not a beauty queen and 
My eyes are baggin’ and my skin is saggin’,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
Well I ain’t 20 either and I don’t care neither.
My hair is gray and I like it that way.
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
If you don’t think I rock, well we ain’t gonna roll.
If you don’t think I hung the moon, my hot just turned to cold.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
‘cause if you can’t see what it is you have,
Then you ain’t having me.
I got cellulite and achin’ feet,
And my thighs kinda jiggle when I giggle or wiggle,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
My tummy ain’t tucked or liposucked.
It’s a little poochy, but I still Hoochy Koochy,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
See, I’m no longer desperate. I’ll only have a man,
If he has the smarts to see how hot that I still am.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
If you can’t see what it is you have,
Then you ain’t having me.
Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies… are DIVINE!
Well I gotta chicken neck and I love it, by heck,
It makes a double chin whenever I grin,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
I got saggy breasts that droop from my chest,
Pert near down all the way to my nest,
And if that’s the reason that you don’t love me,
Then maybe that’s not love.
If you don’t think I rock, well we ain’t gonna roll.
If you don’t think I hung the moon, my hot just turned to cold.
If you want a younger model, I wish you well, sweet pea.
’cause if you can’t see what it is you’ve got,
You ain’t getting me.
Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies… are DIVINE!
Older ladies, older ladies, older ladies…
what are we ladies? We’re DIVINE!
by

Showing her the bike

Friday, June 20, 2014
Me: Good morning! Have a fantastic Friday! 7:38 AM
Kris: Thanks! So excited about this weekend! Getting almost everything on my birthday list! (U on bike is not likely ;). Ready for “adventure”!? 8:39 AM
Kris: Got a truck to pull the boat! Yay! Might tell W about bike tonite. uh oh..let u know. Hope you’ve survived the day ok. almost playtime! TGIF!!! 😉 3:08 PM
Me: Yay for truck! Are you visiting me tonight? Fine either way. Hoping w doesn’t freak out too badly and perhaps she’ll attribute everything she thought was you having an affair to the bike! 3:27 PM
Kris: Just called W and said, “I bought myself a present. I’m coming now to show u it. I can return it but hoping I can keep it for my birthday.”. She said, “What is it? Did u buy a motorcycle? We can’t afford it.”. What the “F” IS it about friggin WOMEN! always thinkin’ the worst! ;). I said, “Not sayin’ – u’ll see in a little bit.” She says, “Yeah right. I bet it’s a motorcycle.” 3:29 PM
Me: Oh my. So she knew you were pining for one? 3:31 PM
Me: So you aren’t driving down tonight? 3:34 PM
Me: Fire alarm! Whee! So I am out of work early! 3:42 PM
Kris: Can’t visit tonite. have to go to see wife. Sorry. did I say I’d b down tonite? Sorry. would love to but cant. plus going to make round trip to pick up truck so don’t have to waste time doing with you. PLUS still have work to do (argh!) Hope I didn’t disappoint for tonite. Pick u up at 11:30 am tomorrow for lunch with mom?! 🙂 !!! 3:44 PM
Me: No worries. I mentioned H is going out, then we changed the subject. Just wanted to be sure. See you tomorrow! 3:47 PM
Kris: K! keep u posted on tonite’s “drama”. Alfalfa. 😉 3:52 PM
Me: If she kills you, it has been lovely knowing you. Sassy 3:55 PM
Kris: Likewise my dear! 😉 3:56 PM
Me: How do you end up with car and truck? 3:58 PM
Kris: Whatcha mean? 3:59 PM
Me: What are you driving down here in tomorrow? 3:59 PM
Kris: Car 4:01 PM
Kris: Driving….explain logistics later. 🙂 4:02 PM
Kris: Just showed wife. I’m a “deceitful man who loves his hog (harley) more then his wife” BUT I’m alive to fuck another day! So looks like you’re not off the hook that easily! Spanky 🙂 !!! 5:12 PM
Me: Ouch, that doesn’t sound pleasant. But glad you survived! 5:14 PM
Kris: She’ll warm up to it but I’ll pay for a while with regular “tongue lashings.” Worth it…even if I am a sensitive, “fragile” soul. 😉 5:19 PM
Me: I will try to be extra sweet to you to compensate. 🙂 5:20 PM
Kris: 🙂 !!!!!! 5:20 PM
Me: Thinking of you… hope you are home safe and wishing you sweet dreams dear man! 11:05 PM