9:01am Phil

Good morning.   May have had a beer or two too many last night.  Wow! Going to ride the bike a bit this morning, work up a sweat.  Good party. You up this early on a Sunday?

9:20am Phil

Guess not

9:21 am TEXT Phil: Morning

9:48am Phil

I think it’s too late for that. I had a plan and did not stick to it.  Should have stayed gone when I was gone.  I think too much and I don’t follow my heart when I should.

10:10am Phil

You can’t fix stupid and I was stupid. Should have grabbed on and never let go. I don’t blame The Beach Gal, my fault for not being there. Had my chance and blew it. What I get for playing it safe, taking the route everyone thought I should.  Should have blocked everyone out and done what I wanted.  I’m not a stupid man but I have made some pretty damn stupid decisions over the course of life. Some you can undo, others not. I try to smile and continue on.

11:03am

Hiya kid!

11:25am

If I forgave you after 35 years and gave you a second chance, surely she will?  If that’s what you want, talk to her, explain, beg, bargain.  Love is patient…

You are older and wiser now – use what you’ve learned and move forward in a better direction!  I want you excited, happy and dancing by 4 pm.  Go!

12:16pm

Have you seen these? Too fun!

[URL for Dog-shaped Oil & Vinegar Set]

             

12:27pm Phil

I need to finish the Military. I have to be done with that in order to move on. It’s not fair to have her life on hold waiting on me. I go about day to day, go to dinner etc, what has she got? Nothing. Not fair. I spent so much time appeasing my kids and not wanting to hurt my wife. Me leaving changes the rest of my wife’s life dramatically. She has never made any money. Not sure how she would live. I should not worry about that but I do. Problem is when you walk people get hurt and that sucks. It’s why people forgo love and romance and stay in relationships without it

1:21pm Phil 
 This sucks

1:22pm
Hey, kid. I don’t know this gal, but if it was me and I knew that a year from now you’d be in my life and my bed? And in the intervening months we’d plan and dream? I’d be all over that. She’s waited this long, what’s few more months? You have given your entire life to this country and to your wife. Give yourself permission to stop. Give your wife a chance to find a man who adores her and will do what she wants. You’ve been hurting her for years… STOP. You are stuck with your kids. 🙂 You will be surprised how happy people can be and you have NO IDEA how your life will improve when you can go where you want, wear what you want, take off the mask and be with the right woman! Your family is on your side now, even the chaplain told you to stop trying. There are so many people like me who can’t go… but you can! But no matter what, I will be here to make you smile as often as you’ll let me!

1:24pm Phil  
Just afraid it’s too late

1:24pm
TRY!
 Climb up out of your rut, see the possibilities!
 Go Philip! Go P H I L!

Now you see why I was never a cheerleader…. ;0

1:26pm Phil 
She won’t take my calls. I think she is trying to move on.
Don’t blame her. Blame myself

1:29pm
Forget about blame. Find a way to say you’re sorry and all you want is to see her smile again.

Send her favorite flowers or something.

1:29pm Phil 
I have such a sense of loss

1:29pm
Make a grand gesture.
I know, sweetie. 

1:41pm

Let it push you to make it better?

1:48pm

I wish she knew me… I’d call for you!

4:06pm Phil

My team WINS! One good thing in the day.

4:08pm

Yay!  I’m off to the monthly project steering and dinner.  Rock on!

4:10pm Phil

Have fun. 

Trying to figure out to clear this fog in my head and ache in my heart. Failing miserably.

4:11pm

Sometimes all I can say is “tomorrow will be better.”  And usually it is.  Hugs!

4:12pm Phil

Thanks 🙂

7:39pm

Okay!  How was the football?

7:45pm Phil

My team WON!

7:45pm

Good game or “scary just pulled it out” stuff?

8:01pm Phil

Scarlet

8:02pm

Rhett?

8:28pm Phil

Shit, scary.  Benched the quarterback

8:29pm

Finally!  The new guy gonna get some time?

8:30pm Phil

No, he was hurt. Third string

8:30pm

Oh my.  They won with a 3rd string QB?  Wow.

8:31pm Phil

Just happy for the win