Monthly Archives: February 2012

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The new guy

Monday mush
Between Phil and You
November 1 at 11:04am
Good morning! Hope you’re having a fine Monday! It’s crazy here… and cold! Not supposed to get out of the 40s! Eep! I am looking out my office window for you this morning. The sky is clear and that bright blue that only comes in November. It’s makes the yellow leaves glow on the huge old ancient trees across the street. They look so pretty against the red brick of the buildings.
November 1 at 11:21am
My brain is actually functioning pretty well, considering I didn’t get to bed until 2:30 am! Which means – it’s MUSH! Yikes! Thank you very much for chatting last night. It made me smile and stop worrying about my husband for a while. I was too nervous to sleep until he got home. He survived without a major disaster. Though he did not listen to me and was drinking. *sigh* According to a source, he drank a lot and started to get maudlin, but they switched him to bottled water, and he didn’t notice and perked up after that. Nice to know others are watching out for him.
Had fun this morning hearing about how Halloween went for my co-workers, and showing them my new phone!
Phil November 1 at 5:40pm
Glad that worked out. Know you were worried about it

November 1 at 6:19pm
You have a good day? Did you see that the Vikings waved Moss? What’s up with that? You watching football or baseball tonight? Or trying to keep up with both?
Phil November 1 at 8:42pm
He ran his mouth. I love that they waived him. What he deserves, big mouth piece of crap. Where he belongs, on the couch with me!

November 1 at 8:45pm
Just ordered Thai food… soup and satay for supper! Whee!
November 1 at 11:25pm
Answered man #2 on Classmates. He sent me his email, not FB. {NAME}. Remember him? All I recall is where he went to college and had red hair. Didn’t love him. Last contact in 1978. FB “likes” Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. Gag. Treading very carefully. But I might learn something or wreck his world view. *evil grin* Online search shows – former military, football fan, lives in Illinois, married, two kids, wife named Sally (25 years), Republican Yankees fan. Wow.  He sounds just like you!  Can it get any weirder?
Headed to bed. Sleep well, sweet man.
Phil November 2 at 9:15am
{NAME}?! I remember him. What’s wrong with being a Republican! It’s going to be in vogue after today! Small world! had to scrape ice off my windshield today! That sucked.
November 2 at 11:09am
What do you remember? We didn’t interact much in h.s. but he wrote letters from college, and visited me once. Why did that made me memorable? He just wrote a quick email back, said he’s been looking for me for a year. Flattering but puzzling. Left the Army in the early ’90s.
FYI – I am not talking about you to anyone. Or even mention that we’re in touch. Though if I friend them on FB, they will see your name. Hope that won’t be a problem.  But it might be good for me to friend a few men from home, so you don’t stick out.
November 2 at 11:24am
My boss plunked down in the chair next to my desk, to talk about the budget, and instead started in about how he’s been talking to an old flame and how he is changing his life, thinking about working less, refinancing his mortgage and taking care of his health. I smiled and said I understood. 🙂
November 2 at 11:38am
Philip – important question – was anyone from home mean to you, a bully, or would be problematic if I friended them on FB? If so, you don’t have to tell me names now, but if you say yes, then I will check with you before friending people from home… don’t want it to be a problem for you.
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Halloween frights

Friday frights
Between Phil and You
October 29 at 8:25am
Good morning! Happy Friday! I hope your day will be a wonderful one. Pretty morning here… just a few high clouds. But cool… 50 degrees now and not supposed to get much warmer. Many of the trees lost their leaves yesterday. The parking lot looks bigger, more open, with the stick-like trees.
Phil October 29 at 8:30am
Good morning. Bright, cool, gorgeous day here! Heading to the beach this afternoon. Going to be another busy weekend but we have football so it’s all good. How did everything go last night? Hope it went well! Writing letters and evaluations today. Yippee! Halloween this weekend. Always loved halloween.

October 29 at 8:32am
Everything went well. It’s magic when it all comes together!
I thought I might stay home, but I am going to the office. We’re starting on a new project and I should be there.  
Do you dress up for Halloween?
Phil October 29 at 8:44am
I do not dress up. Pull the fire pit down the driveway and watch the kids come. Just an enjoyable evening.

October 29 at 9:00am
What’s a fire pit?
You are so lucky to get kids. No one trick or treats here. And we’ll be away from home most of Sunday.
My niece went to a fun party at her pre-school yesterday. It’s called “trick or trunk.” 300 kids and their parents park in the school lot, decorate their cars, and the kids walk around and get candy out of the car trunks!
Phil October 29 at 9:46am
A firepit is a raised stainless steel drum that you burn wood in. You get this big blaze going, have a huge cooler of beer for adult trick or treaters.  We get 100 or so kids. It’s a neighborhood so it’s kind of nice.

October 29 at 10:29am
My co-workers had Halloween in the office today! I am not into costumes, but I put on a tiara and feather boa just to play along. Heh. 
October 29 at 2:05pm
Morning was busier than I thought! Boss, who rarely wants to see the budget, decided he did today. So I spent a couple of hours condensing the 36-pg budget report into 3 pgs. He’s great at his job, but not so much on the admin side and definitely not numbers.

October 29 at 2:28pm

Done with all my work. Even got ahead on tasks for next week. Friday afternoons are boring here. You driving now? Your stories last week made me smile all weekend. I have time to talk if you want company on the road for a little while.


[He called me! And bitched about his wife!  Yay!]
Saturday something
Between Phil and You
October 30 at 8:39am
Hiya, Philip! Good morning! Please have a super Saturday! It’s a cold morning here, only 41 degrees and not supposed to get much warmer. Brrr…. sunny with high clouds. We have company on the couch, so I can’t get out on the balcony right now!
October 30 at 8:47am
So good to get your call yesterday! Hope it helped to air some stuff. I’m never sure whether to just offer you an extra crispy bucket of sympathy, or to make suggestions… so I tried a little of both. It is frustrating that I can’t “just fix it.” I so want to make things better. But maybe shifting some of it onto my shoulders helps a tiny bit. Or with our two brains we’ll see a new option. But I love it when you tell me things. Good or bad. It helps other things make much more sense.
October 30 at 9:00am
We’re off to breakfast with company. Have a great day!
October 30 at 1:39pm
Had a great breakfast, then put our friend on the train home. Nothing like a good Eggs Benedict! And she paid!

Just paid the monthly bills online. Not fun, but good when it’s done!

New phone

Between Phil and You
October 30 at 5:44pm
Good news! Big sale @ t-mobile, finally got a smarter phone! Typing on a Samsung Vibrant. WOOT! Downloaded FB first thing. 🙂
Sunday superlatives
Between Phil and You
October 31 at 9:02am
Good morning! Happy Halloween! I hope you have a grand day with football and trick-or-treaters! Lovely morning here, 52 degrees. Supposed to stay that temp all day, with high winds. High clouds, quiet in the parking lot.
October 31 at 10:23am
I am nervous about a party tonight. Hubby (for the first time ever) made a bad scene at one last summer, drank, had a seizure (interaction of booze and his meds), blacked out. Big dilemma now about how much I should police him. Ugh. Wish you were here to give me advice… but this is not fun stuff, not your worry. Just send me good energy!
October 31 at 10:38am
Gotta run. I’ll follow the game on my new phone and hope your team makes you drink lots of touchdown shots! Go team!
Phil October 31 at 1:09pm
Go team! Good luck today. Hope everything goes well tonight.

October 31 at 3:01pm
Watching football on new phone!
October 31 at 8:51pm
Hope you had a great evening with lots of kids. See any memorable costumes? Any themes? Hope it wasn’t too cold out. It’s supposed to freeze here for the first time overnight.
Busy day for me – Had a “serious talk” with hubby about the party… hope it sunk in.  Tried to figure out phone… still tricky.  I talked with a friend at the party, asked her to call me if he needs me, before he gets into trouble if possible. Gave him cab fare. Praying he’ll do okay. Home now, keeping an eye on the World Series.
October 31 at 11:23pm
Got a classmates msg from another guy from our hometown! What is causing all this re-connecting? No one before and now 2 in 2 months. Bizarre. Another military guy. Who lives in…wait for it… the state you’re moving to! Yeesh. Not sure whether to answer.
How are you doing with your other reconnections? Anyone interesting? Any news from hometown peeps?
Heading to bed… you driving in the a.m? Call if you like. Sleep well, sweet man.
Phil October 31 at 11:30pm
Driving now

October 31 at 11:34pm
Call?
[Phil called me from his car and we talked for over an hour, until he was back in his apt. in D.C.  I felt especially close to him.  Damn, I adore talking to this guy!]  
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Breakfast and lunch

Food for thought
Between Phil and You
October 28 at 6:16am
Good morning! Hope your Thursday is off to a super start. It’s still quiet and dark here… mostly clear with the last clouds speeding away to the north… warm morning, 61! The lights of the city twinkle like the Emerald City of Oz.
Phil October 28 at 9:28am
Wow! I have been buried in spread sheets all morning. UgHhhhhh

October 28 at 11:08am
Ah, spreadsheets. I adore them but they can get to be too much. I hope you unearth yourself soon. 🙂
October 28 at 11:14am
Tell me what you usually eat for breakfast and lunch? I need some new ideas.
Phil October 28 at 11:31am
Oatmeal, yogurt, banana, high fiber cereal with skim milk for breakfast. Very often just coffee. Just one of the above.

Lunch, fruit or turkey sandwich on wheat or grain bread, any veggies I like. I often forget to eat until evening. Have had nothing today, going to fast to eat, maybe later. Try to suck down 5 or 6 glasses of water.

October 28 at 11:41am
I should’ve taken today off! Feels like a Monday! Arrgh!
No work to do at the office, and my phone and FB and email are jumping with questions about my local project. It’s bizarre how much I do on something I’m “not working on.” But it’s great to use my experience to calm them when they’re in panic mode. 
And my sister is melting down because her husband was supposed to be home from his trip at 11:15 am, but his flight got canceled and he won’t get in until 7 pm… after a week alone with my niece she is fried. They share taking care of her more than any couple I’ve ever seen, so it’s tough when one of them is away. I tried to buck her up with a funny video. Whee!
October 28 at 1:03pm
Thanks for the food ideas! That’s actually food I might eat. Wow! that rarely happens when I ask people. Shouldn’t be surprised that your answers make so much sense to me, but I still am.
Philip? Please, please don’t forget to eat. Don’t sabotage yourself. You know it’s bad for you… makes you less effective. And makes everyone else stupid. Give your brain and body something to run on. Really. Find an energy bar or something to put in your desk or your backpack that you can snarf on the run. Please. If not for you, then for me. Think of me smiling at you or whatever else works to get you to eat. Early every day. And middle of the day. Please?
October 28 at 3:29pm
Classmates.com keeps telling me that someone signed my guest book on August 18th. 🙂
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Sassy Answers – VD plans

Hiya, Dear Readers!

Happy Valentine’s Day!  Or Happy Tuesday, if you are not a believer.

It’s time once again for a fabulous holiday edition of “Sassy Answers” – that wild and wacky time when we take a break from the fascinating conversation between Sassy and Phil, and your humble sexy blogger actually writes something for your eyes (rather than Phil’s).  Whee!

Q.  What are you doing for Valentine’s Day? 

A.  Working on my blog.   

Oh… you were asking something else, right?

Well, the real world will see me out after work with my adoring husband, strolling the aisles of Whole Foods, the local fancy-schmancy grocery store than I can not afford the rest of the year.  We try to avoid the crush of earnest men picking up flowers and chocolates at the last minute while we pick up items we call “treats” and take them home to “nosh.”  This allows us to avoid the craziness of the restaurant scene, have amazing food for less money, not cook, and buy food that’s bad for us but tastes soooo good!

Here’s a list of the items in our cart from previous years:

Starters:
     Cocktail shrimp and sauce
     Mousse Truffee Pate on pita bread triangles

     French Saucicon (salami-like sausage)
     Green Olives with lemon and garlic (for H – Sassy does not like green olives!)
     Gourmet cheeses – triple creme brie, emmenthaler, appenzeller and Cotswald 
     Whole wheat and natural rice crackers 
     Guacamole and mango salsa and tortilla chips
     Honey roasted cashews
Fresh fruit:
     blueberries, raspberries, pineapple, mango, or strawberries (for H – Sassy doesn’t like them)
Chef Bruce Aidell’s Chicken Meatballs with teriyaki & pineapple, ginger & garlic
From the prepared foods counter: 
     Cous cous cranberry salad
     Spinach ravioli with pancetta, peas and garlic
     Teriyaki flank steak slices
     Cajun turkey tips
     Pulled Pork Platter (NC bbq, pickles, mashed potatoes and squash)
Dessert: 
     Godiva chocolate raspberry domes
     Lake Champlain Hazelnut chocolate bar
     Hazelnut Chai bark
     Tropical dark chocolate with fruit bits and ginger (for H – Sassy is a milk chocolate girl)
Festive beverages:
     French Pomegranate Blueberry sparkling lemonade
     Lemon Ginger Beer
     Raspberry Ginger Beer 
     Sparkling apple cider
Snack: Lilly Movie popcorn 
We spread it out on the coffee table in the living room and eat watching something I want to see on television.  This year I am hoping for an episode of the new “Sherlock” from the BBC.  Whee!
And….we have leftovers for treats all week long.

For the record, we do not exchange presents.  And he does not touch me.  *sigh*
=============
In my secret life, I am yearning fiercely for Phil, spinning out a very sexy scenario in my mind of what we would do if we were together.  I am looking at photos of him with his wife on Facebook.  I try not to pester him, knowing he should focus on her today.  I do send one message or text, to express how knowing him makes me understand this day in a new and wonderful way!
I hope you have a fabulous day whatever you’re doing and whoever you’re thinking about!  I hope someone touches you!  My fervent wish is that one day, the person holding your hand and the person you yearn for will be the same.  
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World Series Chat

October 27, 2010 Chat
10:07 pm hiya done cleaning?
10:33 pm Phil: hey, how ya doing 
10:33 pm Great! You? Tony Bennett is singing at the World Series!
Phil: how friggin awesome!
he sounded great! I just looked him up… He’s 84 years old!
Phil: my place is clean, sipping wine, watchin the game
red or white? still sounds great. hit all the notes.
Phil: red
how do you decide between beer, wine or scotch on any given night?
Phil: i like scotch for a post work drink, beer after a workout. wine to really enjoy
had all three tonight
some times just one, most nights nothing
I had a iced chai. Something about this humid weather… 
hadn’t had one in weeks but today, could not resist.
Phil: chai is not my favorite
sing it tony!
This game is kinda, I dunno, not play-off quality?
Phil: giants just the better team tonight
this guy killed them
So what did you clean?
Phil: Bathroom, kitchen, carpets, bedroom
wow…
10:45pm Phil: whipped up a chicken dish for supper, fresh veggies, brown rice, black beans and hot sauce mixed together. Delicious.
Romo looks so sinister
He reminds me of Franco Harris
what a play!
Phil: Yeah… not stellar stuff. Freakish.
that’s just pure athletics, that’s what makes baseball special
A play like that is just spectacular
Memorable for sure
Phil: yeah man
Can you make good use of the commercial?
Phil: huh?
Nolan Ryan doesn’t look happy
Phil: less happy now
Geez…
I wish you were here to go out on the balcony with me…
it’s a gorgeous night… 70 degrees…breezy…
Phil: I’d like to see the view. Nice glass of wine, that would be nice. 
85 degrees at the beach today
11:10pm I would like it if you touched me…
or tell me what’s changed, so I don’t pester you?
Phew…long inning..
Phil: long inning. good for Giants fans! 
where would you like to be touched? 

11:16 pm Inside…   
11:19 pm deep…
Phil:  ah fingers in your pussy> i know you like that. 
Especially with my cock in your mouth
Yes…
Phil: what you did not get was a mouthful of cum
Can I try again?
Phil: filled that pussy up a few times though
11:22pm mmmm….
Did any of it stick with you? I mean… something you could use… bunk material?
Or is the teenage stuff still the most useful?
Phil: of course
the teenage girl was spectacular, the now girl was a lot of fun.
loved you sucking me, pussy was tight and wet, was all hot, sexy and fun
loved dinner and talking. always did.
Yes… very interesting to me how balanced it was… how it was all good.
Phil: glad I was able to show you spots I enjoy
look forward to the same in december up there
Oh, yes…
I’ve been thinking about kneeling in front of you…
and you telling me what feels the best…
Phil: my cock down your throat comes to mind
mmmmm….
Phil: ball game!
past my bed time. time for sleep
Thanks for watching the game with me.
11:38pm Phil: nite Sass
sleep well sweet man.
Phil: you too

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Breast Day

Wednesday winds
Between Phil and You
October 27 at 7:32am
Good morning! Hope you have a stellar day today.
It’s a balmy, breezy morning on the balcony – 67 humid degrees! Heavy rain and wind on the way… Looks today may be “the last warm day” for a long time. All 40’s and 50’s on the 10-day forecast.
My eyes are looking beyond the parking lot today – so much history in the skyline. it’s good to look to the horizons sometimes.
October 27 at 7:49am
I declare today “Chest day!” or maybe it’s “Breast Day.” It’s mammogram time! One of my three resolutions on the plane home was to focus on my health. Off I go to get squished and irradiated! Too bad it hurts more than arouses. So I don’t get all nervous, I am focusing on fun thoughts about boobs today!
October 27 at 7:51am
Folks outside work yesterday were selling t-shirts to benefit breast cancer research, with a baseball diamond and “Save Second Base.” Heh. Another table had baked goods, with a big pink sign touting “Treats for Tits.” Amazing what people come up with. 😉
Good morning
Between You and Phil
Phil October 27 at 8:20am
On the train heading to work. Rainy day but warm. Have a meeting at this afternoon and some admin things this morning. Have to clean this evening, bathroom and kitchen, probably vacuum too. Can’t stand dirt unless its outside. Good workout, bottle of wine and Survivor. Enjoy getting squished. Focus on health is good. One of my main focuses. Have a great day!
October 27 at 10:57am
Just had a fire alarm! Whee! Down 3 flights of stairs, across the street. Outside only 10 minutes. Sometimes we’re out there for hours, but not today!

October 27 at 11:04am
When you talk about cleaning, it makes me want to live with you. I wonder if we’d get along for more than two days. It would be heaven to have some help around the house. Hubby will vacuum if I beg, but never clean. He never notices dirt. *sigh* My friend is giving me a pro house cleaning for xmas!
Phil October 27 at 11:53am
Get that from my Mom. I hate things laying about, dirty bathrooms, floors, anything. Hate dirty refrigerators, finger prints, dirty glass. It only takes a little time for it to look nice and be sanitary. No stacks of magazines or newspapers. I’m pretty minimal. When I am done with it, I get rid of it. I’m not a collector, don’t collect anything except maybe football stuff but all of that is hung up or I wear it. No dirty dishes in the sink ever. I’m probably a pain to live with.

Hope to get home a little early and get in a run on the hills and some lifting. Nothing better than a well earned sweat. Off I go, enjoy the afternoon.
October 27 at 1:20pm
Damn it. I want to hug your mother. You are literally seducing me, talking about housework and no clutter. Arrgh! It’s not enough that you are gorgeous, smart, fun and like my favorite Thai soup. But you notice dirt and clean? That’s just not fair, Philip! 🙂 You are so not helping with my effort not to fall in love with you again. Brat.
Phil October 27 at 1:26pm 
LOL! I cook too and not just on the grill. Love to experiment in the kitchen.

October 27 at 1:48pm
It scares me a little when you write sentence after sentence I could have written. Clean surfaces, tossing stuff… arrgh! I could have typed that. I am not a collector either. It is so tough to live with one! I may swoon – not having to deal with dirty dishes in the sink, on the counters, in the living room? Sounds like heaven. Which is sexier – talking about fooling around on the kitchen counter, or the counter being clean enough to do it?! And I am not asking you to do it all. Just share. *sigh* You may be a pain to live with on other fronts, but not this one.
Maybe some of our online chats should be about how you’d clean with me… “And then I’d spray on 409 and I’d wipe…” ooh, baby. 🙂
October 27 at 3:25pm
Cooking. You bring up your cooking? You know what that will do to me. That’s low. 🙂 Gosh, what a flirt you are today!
May I help in the kitchen? Or do you like to be left to your own devices? I’d like to help you out…I can chop. or peel. or whatever. What could we make? Do you take requests?
Maybe lobster. and garlic. and bacon. Heh. We could talk over the day. And if you cook, I could clean up. Fun!
Oh, this is definitely not helping me. Bratty brat, you are. I’m going to have to repeat “Yankees fan” about 100 times to counteract all this!
October 27 at 3:57pm
ok. off to get squished. Eep. Then home alone. Trying to decide if I care about watching the World Series or not…
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A listening ear

Tuesday trinkets
Between Phil and You
October 26 at 8:30am
Good morning! Thinking of you, sending vibes for a great day. It’s warm here! 64 degrees! Got out on the balcony, could smell the ocean. Lots of trucks – moving trucks, catering trucks, electric repair trucks with their cherry-pickers. The little trees that have held their green so long are yellow today.
October 26 at 8:35am
I’m off to the grocery store to buy crackers and cheese. Ah, the things I do to save my boss money! I could call a caterer and spend $40 on one small tray of cheese and crackers, or go to the store and buy enough for 100 people with the same money. Busy day today due to the reception. Think of me late afternoon and pray it goes well! I’ll be the one in the back room, quieting humming some song that is stuck in my head. 🙂
Phil October 26 at 8:46am
Watched football last night. Tonight is NCIS night. Finishing projects here, packing up my office things, preparing for the move. Busy times. Hope the reception goes well!
October 26 at 12:05pm
So no more D.C. office?  Are you giving up your bachelor pad, too?
Wow. That makes me a little sad. That city was so good to me! I knew you were leaving, just not this fast. Where will you be next week?
Taking a break to eat lunch. Need protein to face this afternoon. I will be home alone tonight, watching NCIS. 
Phil October 26 at 3:44pm
No, just getting ready. Last day is in December, but traveling a lot in November, then Thanksgiving and it’s over here soon after.  Went very fast.
October 26 at 10:10pm
Hey, there handsome! Done with NCIS. Freaky one tonight.
October 26 at 11:30pm
Are you okay? I have an odd, uneasy feeling… you’re in some trouble, that I could be doing something, helping you do something? Weird. That’s new. Hope it’s just my overactive imagination or bad sushi! If not, you know you can lean on me, if you need a friend, right? I am just a phone call or email or FB ping away… Hope it’s nothing. Sleep well, sweet man.
Phil October 27 at 11:55am
I am fine thank you. No trouble. Personal issues that haunt me some times but that’s life. Nothing different than it ever has been.
October 27 at 12:24pm
Phew. Thanks for saying.
I know women aren’t supposed to ask men to talk about their issues, so forgive me. But if you want to tell me, it might help. Let off steam, rant, whine, whisper… whatever. You know I won’t judge you, and I might have suggestions, that you can take or not. I’m in a unique position to listen. And I do so want to see you happy.

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Monday Mind

Monday Mind
Between Phil and You
October 25 at 5:45am
Good morning! I hope your day is off to a super start. Still dark and quiet here. Cloudy, but already warmer than it got yesterday. Supposed to be in mid-60’s. I like that better than the 40s!
October 25 at 6:22am
Happy Monday! What’s on your mind today? Good weekend?
I start work at 9 am, as usual. Please let it be calmer than most Mondays! Final prep for our reception tomorrow. This is my 15th time doing this event. I’ll teach new workers how to make it roll.
October 25 at 6:48am
Going back to bed. Probably won’t sleep, but I can close my eyes and think of a smiling man with coffee in his hand and what we could do on a quiet morning. Mmmm….
October 25 at 2:10pm
Work done. Bored now. Wish I could ping you to chat, but know you’re probably busy busy.
Do you have food trucks around work? There’s a Chinese truck that parks up the street here. A co-worker goes once a week. He tries to tempt me and I usually resist, but today I caved and got sesame chicken with rice and veggies. Yum. Cheap, fast and good!
October 25 at 2:51pm
MNF – Giants? Cowboys? or just “it’s football!”
October 25 at 11:10pm
What’s keeping you busy tonight? I went to my sister’s house for dinner. Her husband is away on business this week, so I played with my niece to help out.
May be good you aren’t online… and my ability to keep from writing emo FB messages is strong tonight. Don’t want to mire you in my musing about life and love. Be happy you dodged that! 🙂 Probably just pre-anniversary nostalgia on a rainy night. I’ll be fine tomorrow. Sleep well, sweet man.

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Brain Tricks

October 25th, 2010
05:15 pm – 
[A private post to my public blog]
Brain tricks
Here’s the Facebook message I was too cowardly (or smart?) to send to Phil today:
You wrote about your “next wedding,” saying, “If I were ever to do it again, would do it on a beach. With a pastor of course but on a beach.”
I shouldn’t admit it, but… I’m trying to share my feelings this time around. Two little sentences made me cry. Scared me. Not because of what you said, but because of what my brain did with them. Not your fault. 
I had a vision of you getting re-married on a beach, toes in the sand, smiling, listening to the pastor… made sense to me – you love the beach! And I was happy for you. Fine so far. 
and then my brain played a trick on me. The view widened and I was holding your hand. Telling you and everyone how we feel. And it made complete sense to me. 
I got up from my desk and went to the bathroom to mull that over. And I got the most amazing, warm peaceful feeling. Like everything falling into place. And I started to cry as I walked back to my desk. I was very scared. Why is my brain doing that?! I started slamming doors in my brain. Back to the now! Right now! 
I swear I have not thought about our future (other than one night in December and the fact that there likely isn’t much of one after that). Keep it fun. Stay in the now. Why am I thinking about marrying you?! Probably a side effect of my anniversary musing. arrrgh. And you probably didn’t mean to open that door. So don’t let this weigh on you. Not your fault. Sorry. Just pat me on the head and move along. 
=======
Of course, what this probably means is that I love him. My under-brain has decided and is using tricks like this to tell my upper-brain. I will be happier when I figure it out and this emo crap stops. Probably bring on other emo crap, but whatever.
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Wedding thoughts

Sunday ceremonies
Between Phil and You
October 24 at 9:18am
Good morning! I hope your day is off to a great start. Cloudy and cold – 44 degrees. Brrr. Orange trees have morphed to an amazing shade of dark red today. Very quiet out there.
October 24 at 9:43am
Thinking about three weddings – 1) You going today – hope it’s a fun one! Wondering if you have to dress up. Post a photo? Don’t think I’ve seen you in a suit and tie.
Do people still dress up for church down there? We don’t up here. No more “Sunday best.”
2) The extravagant wedding sis went to yesterday. They had it outside in the cold. Eep. Then open bar, h’ors doeuvres, and huge dinner with dancing. She does wedding consulting sometimes, and said it was likely $30K spent. Eeep.
October 24 at 10:12am
3) my own wedding, years ago this weekend. Looking at photos online of guests who came from our hometown, or flew in from wherever – 150+ people to celebrate with us.
Wonderful church service – lots of music from different styles to showcase our friends, different scriptures, readings, fabulous sermon, and the congregation singing a hymn!
Simple potluck by the church ladies in the church hall. Sushi, shrimp cocktail, Swedish meatballs, finger sandwiches, and a cake.  Very low key.  Very us. No bridesmaids, no tuxes, no booze, no dancing, no dinner, no garter… a worship service and a party for under $5k. Then we drove off to our honeymoon to recover!
I’m often away or mired in local projects this time of year, with no time to reflect on our anniversary, so it’s nice to have a few moments of nostalgia, and a chance to be extra nice to hubby this weekend. He said this week that we are better now than we’ve ever been. Interesting… counter to what conventional wisdom would say when your wife has just been off with her old flame! How lucky I am.
October 24 at 2:48pm
Been productive today – not exciting but necessary. Recycled 10 weeks of Sunday papers and clipped coupons! Then laundry. Woo hoo. Gonna go watch mushy videos and insert us into all the kissing scenes. 😉
October 24 at 2:51pm
TV tip – DVR the PBS “Masterpiece” showing of BBC’s new Sherlock the next three weeks. Starts tonight here. There are three 90 minute episodes. Nifty updating of the mysteries. We saw it off British TV in August and highly recommend it.


October 24 at 7:14pm
Patriots win!
Tied for the AFC East.
Hee hee hee. 🙂
Phil October 25 at 11:00am
Patriots got very lucky. They still suck. Happy anniversary. Strange what will stir a relationship and what will not. Who knows anymore. The wedding was nice. Have to wait till next week for photos. Simple, buffet style meal. 


If I were ever to do it again, would do it on a beach. With a pastor of course but on a beach. 


People still dress up for church but not as much. I tend to wear a decent shirt, jeans. Summer is an aloha shirt, shorts and flip flops. I like that much better and people enjoy coming and they can head out for their afternoon afterwards without the need to go home and change.
October 25 at 2:56pm
Yes, the Boston sports media was all over the “um…just take the W and run for the plane” angle. But it was fun how they picked up a game on everyone in the AFC east yesterday.